Ghosts
by AMD1001
Summary: We're all a little haunted. Beth travels a long and lonely road but she's far from alone. Can she make it home? Can she survive with her ghosts long enough to find her solace once again? Or is she really just a ghost of herself, or even worse than that...? A/N: I'm working on a sequel to this story now
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

The blood rushed in his ears, a dull humming accompanied by the still audible echo of the gunshot. He stared down where two shades of red began to gather and pool against one another. He watched in horrified mute wonder as they began to swirl in their dance of death across the linoleum floor. Dr. Edwards felt the bile rising up his throat and couldn't stop the thought of the Yin-Yang flittering through his mind. He half wondered if there was such a thing as balance anymore in this world, so full of harsh and violent extremes.

No.

Balance was long gone. Beth's blood would not currently be dancing with the Devil's blood at his feet if yin and yang still had a place among the rubble of civilization and the remnants of humanity. Suddenly he had to fight the urge to draw a line through the swirling shades of red in order to separate the two entities, he had to fight not to push his fingers into their blood and put everything back into black and white, as it were, in his own mind.

When the somewhat maternal cry broke through the sound barrier, caught somewhere between the wounded cry of an animal and the sound one might make at the loss of their own soul, Edwards felt more than saw the collective flinch from the rest of the uniformed officials and the wards. His neck twitched slightly and then he was looking down on them, all gathered around her in his arms. All of them looking so broken and lost, like the thought of actually losing her in this world had never once dawned on any of them. Which is total fucking Bullshit. He saw that scar on her wrist just as Dawn had; she had only seen it because she was present when he had found it. And it meant one thing, she wanted her ticket home. She had even boarded the train, but something brought her back. The sobbing of the brunette reduced to rubber kneecaps told him it had to have been her; she had been the one to bring Beth back from that razors edge. But there was no coming back this time. Beth was gone, the ticket she had tried to refund, had simply been exchanged for a later date. He stared at the light tendrils of blonde hair that wrapped lazily around the man's shoulder in the breeze. The ends of her hair played with the frayed edges of Angel's wings so Edwards spared a moment for the first prayer he would have sent up in over a year. A prayer for her, may she be singing and dancing on the clouds above them all now. But he knew she wasn't, he felt it in his bones. She was still here. Trapped. Like the rest of them.

He glanced back to the bigger picture unfolding beneath him and nearly gagged on his panic. He slammed both fists as hard as he could against the glass window, a crack growing from the upper right corner at the impact. Rotters were moving in on the group below, more than they were prepared for even on a good day. He slammed his hands against the glass again, a small shard bouncing to the ground from the force. Finally someone looked up, he pointed animatedly behind them screaming 'run' over and over until finally, finally, they turned and saw the impending doom. Edwards watched as the group moved into a defensive position around the man holding Beth, who either hadn't noticed the situation, or couldn't bring himself to care. He saw their mouths moving and raised eyebrows and gaping mouths and one very loud "Fuck You" followed by an almost louder "We have no choice".

Edwards watched them place Beth into the back of a car and turn to flee the area. His stomach twisted as the Rotters closed in on them and the knots that formed fell out of the bottom of him as a few began clawing at the blue car they placed Beth in. He swallowed jawbreakers lodged in his throat as he watched her people vanish and more slowly as the Walkers did too. Except for those three.

He turned quickly to the remaining officers, "Go get her."

They stared at him in their confusion and reluctance. His eyes darted back and forth over the scene below until the lack of movement behind him drew his attention and the words bellowed from him a second time before he could clamp down on the panic bubbling up his throat.

"Why?" A voice inquired from somewhere, "She's dead. They left her."

"She does not deserve to be left to rot in the back of a fucking car or shred to bits by those things. Dawn did this to her, Now Go Get Her."

The wards shifted mutely in the background, their own faces pinched in fear, sadness, and shock. They twitched and worried their lips between teeth that clenched. The Officers were clearly uncertain and unwilling, but Shepherd nodded once and tapped two of the men near her to follow her. Dr. Edwards stared back out of the fractured window and tried desperately not to feel like the coward he and Beth both knew him to be. It took longer than he liked to see the emerging police officers approach the vehicle. They dismantled the walking dead swiftly and Edwards watched Shepherd take up a defensive position to stay on guard while the two men pulled the blonde from the car. Edwards ground his teeth seeing her hair stained red again, her arm limply hung towards the ground, swaying slightly as they carried her less gracefully than he'd have liked. The remaining officers had begun cleaning up and disposing of Dawn's body when they came back down the hall with Beth. Edwards throat clenched and he would swear he could feel grains of sand in his mouth. He couldn't blink, his eyes refused to close as he stared at her pale face, he pointed to a vacant room down the hall and they moved as directed.

"What exactly are you planning on doing with her, Doc?" Shepherd asked, a twinge of moral discomfort pinching at her spine.

"Clean her up. Find somewhere to bury her. It's what her people would have wanted. It's what they would have done. Given a chance." He moved slowly to the side of the bed where Beth's body now lays, a tremor working over his last left two fingers that would have intrigued him at any other time. He lifted the towel and bottle of water from the side table and began to soak one end of the cloth. He slowly and very gently began to dab at the drying blood on her face and head and hair. He was wiping the blood from her neck when he felt it. A jump just under the flesh. Every molecule in his body came to a screeching halt as he tried to decide if he should give into hope and press harder into the pulse point or shake it off as another twitchy finger. He swallowed thickly and let his eyelids close, his index and middle finger pressing just a bit harder. Nothing. He nearly cried, his head falling a few inches.

And then he felt it again. Weak. Faint. His eyes snapped open and he held his breath, waiting. Waiting. And then Little Beth Greene's heart gave another little beat and he actually began to laugh. Shepherd, who had been helping, stared at him in horror.

"She's Alive!"

Her face lifted but Edwards didn't waste another second, he lifted her up into his arms quickly and all but ran from the room with Beth. He yelled instructions out to Shepherd as she struggled to keep up with him both in stride and in the naming of utensils and supplies.

"What do you think you are going to be able to do for her?" she asked somewhat incredulously.

"Keep her alive, using whatever it takes to do it." He said as he continued down the hallway with palpable determination. He looked down at her and found himself chuckling again, "That brunette didn't have a damn thing to do with bringing you back," he started breathlessly, "You brought yourself back."

== 3 weeks later ==

Even through the dull pounding in her head, the glued sensation between her eyelids and lips, and the way it felt like the world was tilted on its side and spinning just a bit too quickly; Beth Greene knew she had woken up in Grady Memorial Hospital.

Again.

The ticking of seconds falling away, the sting of bleach to that back of her throat, the beeping monitor, the too rough and starched cotton sheets over the rigid and cold metal bed. She knew where she was. This time, however, there was no panic. No fear. Because she knew where she was? Yes. But that alone did not quell her loathing of this establishment. No, Beth Greene remembered. Beth Greene remembered shiny metallic reflections of light and the taste of blood lust and calm rage at the back of her throat. Beth Greene remembered the tensing of her back and squaring her shoulders. She remembered black lightning against her face and the tendril of death it shot through her. And she even remembered the warm coppery spray of someone else's blood on her face. Her mind couldn't locate the memory, but her heart remembered a strangled, whimpering cry that repeatedly begged her 'no. no. no, don't go.'

Yes, Beth Greene remembered it all as she lay there attempting to coax her eyes into opening. Her head felt too big when she tried to move it to the side where light warmed the cosmos she felt trapped in behind her eyelids, a groan of distaste revealing just how much lack of use of the vocal chords could hurt.

"Beth?"

She froze, having been so distracted by assessing her situation she had not considered she may not be alone.

"Beth, are you awake?"

Confusion shrouded her, and even a muted wave of panic, as the realization hit her that it was Dr. Edwards voice calling to her from the black. Her lips finally parted in a breathy inhale and she flinched at the movement. Why did her jaw hurt so badly? Why did it feel like ancient stone grinding against each other?

"Beth, it's Edwards. You were shot. Beth, you were in a coma, you need to relax and give yourself time to fully come out of it. I'm not sure your body has woken up, so to speak."

 _I know I was shot, I remember. Where is my family? What did you do to them? Why can't I speak!?_

She felt hot sticky skin press into the flesh of her hand and wanted to pull away instantly, but all that happened was a twitch in her elbow and a small crease to her eyebrows.

"Beth if you can hear me, if you can understand what I'm saying, squeeze my hand Beth."

She didn't like the man. But he was helping her, and the concern she could hear in his trembling voice was something she could not deny. But she also knew why it was there; guilt. Dr. Edwards feels guilty. And he's looking for redemption. The fiery Irish blood and temper in her wanted to deny him his hand squeeze. She wanted to force him to live in the black like she was. But he was probably her best bet for proper medical treatment and healing so Beth Greene had to swallow her pride and well-hidden malcontent. She focused entirely on her hand, willing all the energy in her already tiring body to go to one small act. She focused on her fingers curving around his hand and even on digging her nails into his skin. She highly doubted she would be able to cause him any pain in her current state, but the thought entertained her and even helped her focus. She could feel perspiration falling from her face and could swear she even felt herself biting her lip when suddenly Edwards was speaking again.

"Good, Beth! Try and rest now, you still have quite a bit of healing to do. Surviving a head shot is not going to be easy."

And just like that he pulled his hand from hers and she felt more than heard him leave the room. She lay there and shifted in her own skin, spiraling downward in the confines of her mind. Hours dripped by along with the saline solution used in her I.V. and not one member of her family had come to see her. In fact, she had drifted back out into the nothing she felt but couldn't touch before Edwards made it back around to check on her. The images her mind filled with in her lapse of consciousness had her running through that dark fog, thick fog like sludge that dragged her down and trapped her. She saw blue eyes that saw all of her. She heard a whimpering that pulled at her harder than gravity and felt pinpoint burning sensations on her hands that made her want to let the tears fall. She felt sobs and screams and curses as they built up in her chest like a dam for the damned. She had the sensation of tossing and turning and falling and running and whatever rest she was supposed to get had fled right along with Edwards earlier that day. Or was that yesterday? A few days ago? The timelessness of her mental prison felt like doing somersaults and twists underwater. She couldn't tell if she was awake or dead, which was up or down, if heat was white and cold was red and blood was blue and if it was normal to feel like she was here not here. She wanted to scream and throw punches and burn things down all so she could settle into warm blue eyes because she knows, she just knows; Edwards will not be able to heal all of her. He was never able to. She Needs Him. Her Soul needs him to heal. So where is he? She knew that whatever it was that had been growing between them was in and of itself terrifying, but she also knew that it would not be enough to keep him from her in this scenario. She didn't even know the extent of her injuries, and his absence aside, where the hell was Maggie? Carl? Surely he would have at least come by to see her, conscious or not. She knew her family, they would not have left her completely alone in this. They would have had someone, maybe even taken shifts, to make sure she was actually being cared for. But over the course of- well, she didn't really know. She came and went like Spring rain without rhyme or reason. She would be semi-conscious and be aware of her surroundings what Edwards had mentioned was every few days. She had lost track of how many times they briefly communicated through his rushed words and her delayed hand grips. That combined with the loss of reality, the inability to tell the difference anymore between what was happening around her and what was happening in her mind left her clueless most times.

Beth Greene genuinely began to wonder if she was in Hell.

She also began to wonder if this is what it was like for the Walking Dead.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1

"You're not cut out for this life, Beth. Just stop trying, it's pathetic." She said from her dark corner, and Beth could just feel the sly grin slipping across her face. Her chest tightened and the muscles in her back tensed painfully. She tried to ignore Dawn's voice from the shadows of her fractured brain and focus on her surroundings.

The hallway floor almost looked like it was moving in waves away from her, and she still couldn't shake the sensation that the world was spinning the wrong way. Her stomach knotted and rolled and told her what little she held in it would stain her hospital gown if she didn't get a move on. Beth took two more steps before her hand slapped against the wall in an effort to keep herself upright. Sweat rolled slowly down the back of her neck and she had to swat at Dr. Edwards ever present "to be of assistance" hands. She knows he means well, but she needs to go it alone. How else will she find everyone she loves? She took a deep breath and pushed from the wall, Edwards slowly toeing through his steps behind her like a sad unwanted dog, but he couldn't help the smile. She had survived and he had kept her alive and now she is fighting like never before. The Doctor in him said she was moving too quickly and was in fact jeopardizing all of her progress by pushing herself, but the man in him that lives in this Hospital like a coward and had lived under Dawn's thumb rather happily, he could not possibly be prouder. Beth finally cleared the distance of the hallway and moved stiffly back to the bed. She sat on the edge and gathered her energy.

"It's really quite remarkable, how far you have come, ya know?"

Beth looked at the Doctor mutely, not really sure if she wanted him to continue to explain even if it meant his rattling would drown out Dawn's incessant stabs. But he had the frazzled look to him he occasionally got, when whatever it was that captivated him was yet again leaving him awestruck and it really made her uncomfortable. She shifted and turned her attention to the two 5lbs. weights they had found for her to build up her muscle strength. She started with bicep curls and tried to pretend she didn't notice the way he marveled at her, praying he would just leave her to her routine.

"Its been six almost seven weeks since you were shot, Beth. In the Head. The fact that you are even alive is a mind blowing miracle. But look at you, your walking and talking; eating very well and maintaining hydration. Building muscle tone and even some body fat. You are well on your way to being the healthiest person out of all the officers and wards."

Beth switched exercises and without being aware of it, began to walk around the room as well in her discomfort and attempts to dodge his hawk eyes.

"Even the scarring is healing well, its faint and soft. All good signs, Beth Greene, all good signs." Dr. Edwards called out as he left her to her repetitions.

With the mention of her scars and the final departure of Dr. Edwards, Beth found herself in a mirror. She examined the arch of the scar on her cheek and the harsh dip of the one over her eye. Slowly, she lifted her chin and stared at the circular indented scar there on the underside of her jaw. She could almost feel it, as she mentally tracked the bullets path through her jaw to wear it had exited just within her hair line above her temple. Sometimes she feels like if she stares hard enough she can still see a red tinge to the hair in that area. The scar there formed more like a gash but Edwards was indeed right, the new skin there was pink and soft and it tingled in a ticklish sort of way when she dragged her finger nail against it. Beth sighed heavily. She turned and resumed her work out, because soon she would be leaving Grady. Soon she would be loading up Gorman's car, the one that had brought her here, and she would drive away as fast as those tires could take her. She smirked at the memory of Shepherd offering her Gorman's car.

It was about a week ago, a few days after they had told her that her family had been forced to abandon her to save themselves when she had fully woken up. She had quickly forgiven that with a small pass of the hand, if they had tried to take her with them she might have gotten someone else killed, she could here Dawn murmuring in the background of her sanity about people risking their lives for her. But when they assured her that Noah had gone with them, she felt the familiar warmth of hope bubble up inside. If they had Noah, then they were going to Richmond. Not a single doubt about it entered her mind. She knew her family and they would absolutely not let him make that journey alone. Not after all they did together to get her back and then to consider that it could be a safe place for all of them? They went to Richmond and she is going to meet them there.

Shepherd had approached Beth after it had become blatantly obvious that she was going to go after her family and find them. She had begun a packing list and asking where she might be able to go to find what supplies she needed and where she ought to steer clear of. Some of the officers were still very reluctant to help her; after all, she had been the turning point for all of Grady Memorial. And she was more or less responsible for Gorman and Dawn's deaths. But the majority of them eagerly told her which areas near the city were good spots and which were dry and a few even offered her some of their own supplies.

Shepherd had sat beside her bed and stared unseeingly at the floor for several long tense moments before she swiftly clapped her hands together, making Beth jump about six feet out of her skin, and told Beth she would be giving her Gorman's car for her travels.

"It's not the best vehicle we have or the fastest, but its durable and he maintained it pretty well. I'm making sure my guys get the tank filled up and the oil taken care of, and I'm going to make sure there is extra gas in the trunk for you." She fell silent again and Beth didn't know what to say. She felt grateful, it was a car and it meant she would catch up to her family that much faster; even if it did belong to Gorman. But there was still a small part of her that felt like after everything, these people owed her. It was childish and selfish but Beth couldn't help it, she nearly died and now she's been separated from her family.

"He was a pig, Beth. In everything he ever did, he was disgusting. I knew him before. He was just as bad, maybe even worse. It gets hard to tell some days." She was pulling at her cuticles and talking softly to the floor, unable to bring her heavy gaze on Beth and Beth almost felt like reaching out to her. She had a sudden desire to reach over and grasp her hand and squeeze it and tell her that it's all okay now and it wasn't her fault and she had been fighting the whole time to sweep everything out from underneath Dawn, but she didn't want to touch Shepherd, so Beth kept quiet and just watched her, her chest heaving with swirling emotions. Shepherd heaved a sigh and finally brought her eyes up to Beth, "Anyway, we all thought it would be a nice gesture on our part to provide you with a vehicle. I just thought it would be even better to give you his. I dunno, maybe you can set it on fire when your done with it or something."

Beth had actually smiled at that and smiled again at the memory, perhaps she did have a special place in her heart for setting fires. Truth be told, she didn't care that the car had belonged to Gorman. It made no difference to her because her sole focus was just getting to Richmond, finding her family, and healing the rest of her broken pieces. The fact that her new wheels had previously been his? Well, that didn't change the mission. And it having been the car to have brought her to Grady in the first place means that when she leaves, she'll have come full circle and will forever be done with this place. With a stone resolve only growing stronger, Beth continued her routine and even pushed herself just a tiny bit further.

That night the restlessness of her dreams haunted her once more. Her body contorting on the bed, each muscle and joint tensing with such pin point precision she felt it in her bones through the dull fog of her nightmares. The flashes of the people she loves succumbing to the dead and dying before her revolved around her like a city skyscraper's door. She ran towards each dissolving scenario, each blood splattered scene; until, horrifically, she was presented with an eyewitness account to her own homicidal tendencies and resulting would be death. She watched herself get shot repeatedly; then, Dawn turned to her dreaming self and told her how weak she was yet again. That it was poetic that Beth should die. Die and come back to eat the rest of her _weak_ people. With sickness coming up Beth's throat she watched her own body decay and rise from the floor; a flood light revealing Maggie, her arms opening to embrace her baby sister. The scene turned red with blood as Beth's reanimated body bit into Maggie and ruthlessly pulled the flesh from her neck. Beth screamed when more spotlights shone down on more of her beloved companions. She cried and begged for them to run, begged for them to end her body's second life. She was forced to watch as she tore into Tyrese's arm and pulled it from his body, separating it at the joint of his elbow. She felt vomit on her taste buds and knew subconsciously she had puked in her sleep, the threat of it happening again when her head spun at the sight of her dead-self pulling Noah's face apart by his mouth. She tried to close her eyes and turn away from the sight of her decayed form tearing the flesh from Rick and Carl's abdomens. She could hear her own sobs breaking through the curtain of her slumber as her rotten body turned toward an infant. She begged God "no" out loud, begged Him not to make her watch this, but the dead version of herself did not stop its approach on little Judith so Beth Greene fought to wake herself up. She dug her nails into her arm and scratched and scratched and scratched, screaming at herself to wake up.

 _Don't do this, Beth. Don't do this, Beth! Wake up! Wake up, Now!_

With a final harrowing sob, Beth opened her eyes and stared blankly at the cracked drywall across from her. She swallowed thickly and tried desperately to push the dreams away. She focused first on her breathing, inhaling through her nose and exhaling through her mouth. Inhale, exhale. Inhale then exhale.

"You have nightmares nearly every time you sleep."

It was a statement, and at this point, the sudden sound of Dr. Edwards voice coming from seemingly nowhere no longer fazed the young blonde woman. She swallowed thickly again and accepted the towel he offered her over her shoulder, she wiped her face of the moisture and sick before sitting up in the bed. She used the towel to cover her reaming pile of puke for the mean time. She brought her knees up and rested her arms over them to hide the raw skin of her arm from him, letting her head fall back to rest on the wall behind her. She nodded her head in his general direction, seated in the chair beside her bed.

"The weak always do."

Beth tried not to blink at Dawn's added statement, "And you seem to watch me every time I sleep. Kinda creepy, don't ya think?" She finally responded.

"Somehow, I don't think you are as freaked out by me as you are your nightmares."

"No. I'm not." She said, ignoring Dawn's snicker.

"Why?"

"Because these days, nightmares are reality." she said softly, eyes flicking to the ghost in the other corner before staring at the stars through the window.

"I could give you something, to help you sleep?" He suggested. Her head snapped up to him at that and the panic that took over her face clenched in his chest, "No!" She clamped her lips and moved her eyes to the blanket covering her lap, realizing her mistake in showing him _weakness_ and she refused to look up and risk seeing Dawn's smug reaction.

"No, Thank you," she amended, forcing herself to breathe steady and calmly, "It would only make it harder for me to wake up and get out of it."

He nodded softly and began to examine the edge of his shoe, his ankle crossed over his knee. She watched him for a little bit, watched him pretend like his presence was natural and normal for her.

"How long 'til I can get out of here, Dr. Edwards?" she asked, feeling the edge she left out of her words creep up her spine in her growing frustration.

"Few more days, I'd really like the dizzy spells to go away before you leave."

She nodded; it was probably a good idea. If she were to faint or pass out while she was traveling alone, there was no telling what she might wake up to. If she woke up at all. She stared down at the ground and tried to latch on to that hopeful feeling again, the one that would whisper to her how she'll be with her family real soon. The one that wraps around her like a ghost of Maggie's hugs. But she couldn't find it beneath the still lingering tremble of her night time horror show. Her brows furrowed and she began to worry her lip between her teeth, reminding herself of every possible happy thing she could. But with every happy memory she recalled, the pinch of longing ran deeper, Dawn's voice would grow crueler and her hope felt further. She didn't know how long she had sat like that, but by the time she looked back up, Edwards was gone and sunlight was beginning to fill the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2

Beth closed the trunk of Gorman's car and turned to face Officer Shepherd and Doctor Edwards; she knew the appropriate and polite thing to do now was thank them for everything they had done for her and given her, but she honestly didn't feel like it and wasn't convinced they deserved it. She glanced back at the car, into her own reflection, and nearly instantly she heard her Daddy's voice, ' _But an argument can be made that maybe they earned it, Bethy_.'

She sighed and turned back to the two of them, "Thank you," she said, a little more rushed than she had meant to, but she said it. They both nodded tightly, as though they themselves had had the same thought process and were uncomfortable, shifting slightly in their shoes.

"Remember to go East for the supplies you're looking for." Shepherd reminded her. Beth nodded and pulled the key fob out of her pocket, she didn't know what else to say and standing around was starting to send ants up her pants.

"Well, Goodbye." She ducked her head and moved to the driver door, popping it open and moving into the car.

"Thank you," Edwards said suddenly, stopping her from closing the car door with his hand on the frame.

"For what?" she shrugged, looking up at him.

"Dawn."

Beth felt a shiver pass through her that only furthered her recent belief that Dawn was quite genuinely haunting her, and possibly further than just in this hospital. She couldn't believe they were actually thanking her for essentially killing Dawn, and she couldn't help the immense urge to spit in his face. Her jaw clenched and she nodded once, closing the door and not really caring if Edwards had the common sense to move his hand or not. She tried not to picture a smirking Dawn sitting in the back seat of the car as she turned the engine and pulled away. Beth did not look in the rear view mirror even once as she drove, none of the retreating figures the reflective surface held had any importance to her. And if it did show her Dawn, she might just puke all over the steering wheel.

She headed East towards the large super store they had told her about. It was 8 miles out and she took the whole ride in silence, thinking of what she would tell everyone once she found them. She smiled at the thought of their shocked faces, of the snotty faced crying sister she would embrace. Of cold blue eyes that would sting her with the intensity of their disbelief until he could finally touch her, feel her. She let the warm longing sensation uncurl in her chest, deciding she could have that thought carry her the whole way to Richmond. She sipped from her water bottle and nibbled on a bag of granola as she drove, switching to playing a wishing game in her head of what she hoped would be in the store.

 _Wouldn't a crossbow just be fantastic? Oh, I hope that store has one!_

She dodged the odd walker here and there along the road, but for the most part she hadn't encountered anything strenuous. She pulled into the parking lot and stared up at the large square building.

" _Looks big and scary_."

Her imagination(she hoped) filled in the silence with Dawn's voice and Beth wished for a moment she could punch herself in the face. Imaginary Dawn's laughter echoed around the dark corners of Beth's mind as she exited the car. She shook it off and drew up the hand gun they had given her, thankfully with a silencer included. It was a last resort weapon these days, but still a weapon and she thought she heard an echo of her Daddy's warmhearted chuckle when she reluctantly thought again on where she might be if it weren't for Grady Memorial Hospital and its inhabitants. The thought nearly made her pause as she fully considered the weight of that debate. She approached the large windows and heaved her shoulders, her head dropping just a bit. She lifted her head and rolled her shoulders and tapped the silencer against the glass several harsh times, creating sound to draw them out just like Daryl had taught her. She waited what felt like a long enough time before she moved to open the door, just in time for five walkers to come stumbling out heading right for her.

Beth gasped and started to panic, moving backwards recklessly before his voice penetrated her senses, ' _wha' you doin' girl? Grab somethin' an' take care of 'em, damnit.'_

She steadied herself and aimed her gun, taking the closest two out with a single head shot each. Beth turned and scanned the ground as she briskly walked further out leading the remaining three walkers out into the open parking lot when a rusted metal pole grabbed her attention. She pushed the gun into her waist band at her back and swiftly lifted the pole from the ground. Turning towards her sworn enemies, Beth wasted no time in swinging the pole into their heads one at a time, sending them to the ground, and then sending the sharp rusted end straight through their foreheads. She panted and leaned her weight onto the pole, waiting for the blurry pulsing around the edges of her vision to fade and once again focusing on her breathing. She glanced around her, making sure the fight hadn't drawn the attention of any other uninvited party guests. Slowly, she gathered her strength and will and lowered the pole back to the ground quietly. Drawing her gun and staying on the alert, Beth moved back towards the store.

The front of the store hadn't held much for her, a few cans of soup and beans and some hard candy, a bottle of water that had rolled under the shelves. The middle of the store had clothes and shoes, bags and hats and gloves and coats. Beth grabbed things with abandon from these sections, not caring how any of it might fit her because of her desperate need for clothing and thicker pieces for winter at that. She only spared time to try on the boots and find the best fitting ones. Those she needed to fit her well or she'd end up with a broken ankle. She found a suitable pair and threw them on top of the growing pile in her shopping cart. She moved to the bag section and picked up a fairly decent sized duffle bag, pushing clothes into it. She popped open the bag of panties she found and set one pair to the side along with a pair of jeans and socks. She shoved all but one of the random tee-shirts she had collected into the bag and set it to the side with a new bra as well. She fit everything into the bag and closed it, standing up straight, Beth fell silent and took in her surroundings once more. As certain as she could be of her privacy, Beth hastily changed her clothes. She ripped her old ones off so quickly and harshly they had torn in her hands. She pulled on the new outfit and shivered somewhat. Walking back to the clothes she snatched a jacket off its hanger and briskly donned it. She went back to her cart and grabbed one more duffle bag before moving further into the store. She found the hygiene section and practically pissed her pants with sheer joy. She just about ransacked it clean; Soaps and cleansing products, pads, tampons, condoms, shampoos and conditioners. Beth Greene took whatever she could get her hands on, thoughts of Maggie and Glenn rolling through her head when her fingers grazed the boxes of contraceptives. Thoughts of sculpted marble arms and burning blue eyes. She shook the sexy time images of him from her mind and moved on to the pharmacy. Not much was left but she did find some Motrin and cold remedies as well as a few pills she recognized to be antibiotics. She added them to her bounty and moved on, determined to find the hunting section.

Finding it hadn't taken long, thankfully. She spared a few moments looking over fishing rods before deciding not to. She had spent longer in here than she had wanted to already, she wanted to find some more weapons, and get the hell out. She saw a counter and rushed up to it, stars exploding behind her eyes at the sight of the handful of big blades and their sheaths left in the display case. She hopped the counter with a bit of effort and a little too much blood rush through her still fragile brain. She slid the case open and grabbed every knife she could reach, immediately attaching one to her belt on the right side and strapped another to her left thigh. She dropped the rest into the duffle bag and continued her search for a crossbow. She scoured every aisle until she hit the auto care and turned, walking back through hunting. She wasn't finding anything and was starting to feel crestfallen when she glanced to the back wall behind the counter and nearly smacked herself on the forehead. There, hanging up high on the wall, were six displayed crossbows and three compound bows. Beth pondered over her six options as quickly as possible before considering what remained of the bolts that would fit them. She remembered the aisle she had found those in and rushed back. She examined all of them before realizing only two sizes remained, ones that looked like they would fit Daryl's and ones that looked about an inch and a half or two inches shorter. She grabbed all of them and rushed back to her stuff, she knew which bow the smaller ones went to. She tossed them in the bag and turned to the wall. Beth hopped the counter a second time but much more slowly, and with even more care she climbed the shelves along the wall to reach the smaller of the crossbows. She strapped it over her back and carefully climbed back down, making her way over the countertop a final time, she steadied herself with the cart and took a deep breath. She couldn't help the wicked grin that spread over her face as she walked back to the front of the store, _Beth Greene,_ she told herself, _you are a Bad Ass!_

Beth drove until nearly an hour or two before the sunset, playing CD's to keep Dawn's ghost quiet and in its lane. She stopped and pulled off the highway sort of near some wrecked cars that would block her from the view of the main road they sat by. She took some time to set up noise-maker warning barriers and a small camp by the car to examine her new bow. She found that pulling it back was much easier with hers than it had been with his, and hers weighed about a third less than his, but it still had some decent heft to it. Beth attached her bolts to it and made sure her little camp was secure before she moved off into the woods to find dinner. And get to know her new toy.

The woods nurtured Beth like a soothing balm on her soul, the way the fading light danced around her and the breathtaking beauty of the stories the forest could tell. Stories read to her in Daryl Dixon's voice. She heard him every turn she made, every track she found, every insect she crossed paths with, every wild flower she saw. Every time she took aim and fired a bolt at any given target, his voice would mumble out her mental notes about her new bow. _It shoots a little low, gotta aim higher. It's lighter weight and so are the bolts, need ta compensate fer weather. Lighter weight doesn't shoot farther and faster though, not surprisingly…_ Beth Greene felt connected to another human being again for the first time since coming out of her coma, yet was completely alone in the tress and tall grass. She could feel him in the breeze that cooled her lips and cheeks and the thoughts it stirred up had her cheeks heating up all over again.

' _Get it together, Greene,'_ she chided herself, maneuvering through the bush, two squirrels bouncing against her thigh. She tried to distract herself with what Maggie would say if she could see her now; _huffin' it alone an' huntin' an' makin' a camp._ She smirked and almost giggled out loud, Maggie would be floored. She would want Beth to sit by the fire and keep her tiny hands warm and sing. Beth tried to ignore the way that thought actually stung a little bit. She made it into her little camp and immediately set to work making a fire before the sun completely set. She rushed through skinning the squirrels but figured whatever she missed could pass for seasoning, swiftly moving one over the flames to cook outright and the other higher up to dry in the smoke. She took the bit of down time to check Gorman's car, adding the remaining gas to the gas tank and praying it got her at least three quarters of the way full. She pulled out her map to look over her route, which had changed three times already that day due to herds of walkers or broken down cars. She had tried to push all the cars out the way the first block she had come to, but after pushing on that first car for 20 minutes and realizing that it had not moved a single inch, Beth went to consult the map.

Beth memorized her current decided route and examined two other routes she could go if need be. It was taking her longer than she wanted, she'd be lucky if she got even 50 miles outside of Richmond before she would have to stop tomorrow evening again. Beth sighed and rubbed her forehead, unknowingly by her scar at her temple, and folded the map back up to put back inside the car door. She went back to her dinner and flipped both pieces of meat, and recalled the first time Daryl had showed her to cook her kill. His hand engulfed hers around the stick they used to flip the meat, their thighs touching and small little grunts falling from his lips as he tugged and pulled relentlessly on her short arm. She felt her cheeks heating up again and growled at herself, feeling like such a child; but mostly feeling a deep longing, like something important and dear to her was missing. She tried to tell herself it was all the members of her family, but she could only think of one pair of crystal blue eyes she desperately wanted to see and fall into and oh those arms and his muscles and warmth and… Beth Greene knew she was doomed.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3

Beth had given up trying to sleep through Dawn's bickering halfway through the night. She got up and cleared camp, deciding to see what hunting in the dark would procure before pulling away entirely; she strapped her bow to her back and took off in to the woods. She didn't get too far before a small herd found her and she went running and stumbling back to the car. She tore off down the road so quickly she nearly wrecked due to roaming Walkers in the night. Dawn belittled her for thinking the woods at night was a good idea, reminding her yet again of her weaknesses. So Beth just blast the music and pressed down harder on the pedal.

The driving was a blast, and speeding to get there even faster was quite possibly Beth's favorite part of her travels; and after a while she was able to drown Dawn out, but the closer she got to Richmond the more worry and fear nibbled at her from the inside out. Her family thought she was dead. What if they no longer had a place for her? What if they thought she was just as useless as before and try to domesticate her all over again? What if they think she is weak…

She tried to think better of her family, she tried to tell herself they would never do that to her. That they had always seen the potential in her and would not be surprised to see the end result, right? She tried to. But the thought of only being allowed to be Judy's caregiver all over again was already making her go stir crazy.

Beth drove silently and without music as she persistently chewed on her bottom lip. She valiantly tried to ignore the knots and dips in her stomach, but the more the miles rolled beneath her the more it began to feel like jumping frogs in her tummy.

What if they didn't even recognize her, she thought to herself, catching her reflection in the rear view mirror. And then there she was; Dawn's smirking ghost in the back seat.

" _Starting to feel like maybe that bullet should have killed you, huh_?" Dawn's ghost asked her, " _Instead of it being the one time in your pathetic existence that you tried to be strong."_

Beth's grip tightened on the steering wheel, a muscle twitching in her neck as she ground out bitterly that she is strong.

"I put up with you, didn't I?" Beth inquired to the back seat with a raised eyebrow.

Dawn snorted, " _'Put up with' and 'Stand up to' are two different things, Bethy,"_ the ethereal being responded. " _If you had any real strength to you, you would have taken me out when I slapped you in the face and popped those stitches. The First time. But no, what was it you did? Oh yeah_ ," the brunette with the too-tight bun chuckled malevolently; " _you stood there and stared at me in dumbstruck horror."_

"Would you just shut the hell up already?!" Beth screamed out to the empty space surrounding her in the car. Her chest rose and fell rapidly as tears burned in her eyes, begging to be released. The edges of her vision were beginning to pulse and blur again, the walls of Gorman's car closing in on her just as Gorman had himself. She could feel his fingers grazing against her skin again, lifting up her shirt. With a strangled sob the car with the white cross on the back windshield came to sudden stop on the highway. Beth burst from the car like an injured Hawk being re-released into the glorious wild exploding from its cage; she clawed at her chest and tried desperately to drag the crisp cool air around her into her lungs, but all she could feel was the panic and pain she was drowning in. Beth threw herself to the ground and dug her fingers into the dirt as far as they could go, she clutched to Mother Nature and begged her to take it all away, the pain roaring to life in her chest, the ache in her bones and tremble she could feel running the length of her. Beth begged any deity that was listening to remove herself from her own body, even if it meant killing her right here on the spot. She still felt trapped; still felt confined in the car, in Gorman's arms, in Dawn's little bubble of Hell she had called Grady. Still felt trapped in her coma…

The thought she might actually still be in her coma crossed her mind, and it sent her over the edge. Before she even knew it was what she had planned to do, Beth sat up and pulled the knife from her thigh, she lifted the sleeve of her jacket and dragged the blade across her arm, just above the healed scar on her wrist. The blade moved with little resistance and she lifted it to draw a second line just beside the first. Her hands fell back into her lap as she stared at the trees in front of her. She didn't see them, she didn't see anything; Beth let the darkness consume her vision while she literally bled the sickness taking over her out through her arm. She let the blood flow freely from her, taking it all with it, until the darkness faded, until she could hear birds chirping again, and feel the breeze on her cheeks and the sun kiss her lips. She blank several times and willed her eyes to adjust, to see the world she sat in once again. Blinking several times down at her arm, Beth finally realized what she had done and cursed herself. She stood and tried to ignore the way her legs shook a little like jelly and that it seemed the colors around her had somehow grown more vibrant, instead she focused on the bag of medical supplies she had in the trunk of the car. She pulled the bag towards her and opened it, bringing her arm up closer to her face, she examined both cuts. Neither was deep enough to need stitches. This time. But they were deep and still bleeding. And they'll turn into scars, she realized with a heavy sigh. She poured water down her arm and cleaned herself up, bandaging the cuts and wrapping it all up. She leaned on the car and sighed, rubbing at her forehead again.

 _The Hell is wrong wit' ya, Greene?_

"I screwed up." She whispered back to him.

 _Yer damn right ya did, now git back on tha' horse an' come find me._

A few hours back into the swing of driving and Beth realized she had been a lot closer to Richmond than she thought; passing a sign for Petersburg was a blessing all on its own, even despite the gas light having popped on with a ding about 5 miles ago, it meant she could make it there tonight. Especially if this car was anything like the others her group had used, it could have anywhere from 20-30 miles left before it would stall on her. So with a giddy feeling rising from somewhere deep in her belly, Beth drove on as quickly as she could. Once again thinking of the various ways her group would react to seeing her again, to seeing her alive; the excited laugh that Carl would give her along with a big, brotherly hug. The soft fatherly eyes of Rick and the sweet peck to the forehead he would bestow her, with a 'Hershel would be so proud,' sort of statement. The instantly open and awaiting arms Carol would hold out for her. Glenn's wide faced grin and hair ruffles with a 'missed ya, kid.' She smiled, eyes drifting to the bandage on her arm. Why was she so afraid that her family would not instantly take her back, in a friggin' heart beat? She felt so selfish for her break down earlier, they deserved better from her than this cutting crap, again. She promised then and there on the highway that it would never happen again. She promised she would never again seek out the cold dead comfort of a blade to her own flesh.

She just passed into Richmond and was a few miles from the Neighborhood Noah had talked about so much to her when the car sputtered and shut off, slowly rolling to a stop even before she parked it. Beth sighed and climbed stiffly from the car, stretching as she moved to the back of Gorman's car to pull all her supplies from the back of the trunk. She was too excited to set a camp, she had maybe two hours of daylight left and was fairly certain she could walk the rest of the way there in that time. She pulled the two large duffle bags out of the trunk, one large bag of food, a bag of medical supplies, her crossbow, the spare bolts for both crossbow's, and the shopping bag of odds and ends such as what she used to string up noise makers. She immediately set to work consolidating the duffle bags into one, leaving behind mainly the extra clothes she didn't deem necessary and the hygiene she felt was not detrimental to her survival, despite whatever sorrow it caused her to leave it beside the car on the road. She pushed the empty duffle bag and spare bolts into the first duffle along with the bag of medical supplies and put the plastic bag of random bits in the food bag. Putting the strap of the duffle bag over her shoulder first, Beth then pulled the book bag of food onto her shoulders and held her crossbow in her hands. She took a deep breath and started walking, telling the butterflies to calm down, _we're almost Home._

She walked quickly, avoiding any walkers so she wouldn't even have to waste the time it would take to put them down. She did decide she would stop to shoot the occasional squirrel or rabbit if she saw one, but she was just too excited to see her family to go any slower than she was.

She missed Maggie so, so much. She was so worried about her after the prison, about how she would have been holding up after seeing their Daddy like that… All Beth could think about was crashing into her sisters arms and finally, finally having the cry she has been holding in for… for too long. The thought of finally being able to reach out and hold Maggie's hand again when she needed that familiar contact, that touch that reminded her of her momma and daddy and Shawn and being a little girl; it had her throat tightening. Even seeing Glenn again and being able to tease him had her on the brink of tears, she just missed them all so very much. Carl and Judith, Rick, Michone, Carol, Sasha… Daryl…

Thinking about it all was seriously making it difficult to breathe and she knew she needed to focus on anything else, so Beth dragged herself from that bubble.

And then she was there, in front of it all.

In front of the great big nothing Noah's community had become.

Beth's bow clattered to the ground and she herself collapsed beside it shortly after, staring through her heartbreak at the empty houses and spots of decaying bodies on their lawns. The air rushed from her lungs, her muscles trembling, her sobs growing hysterical. She brought her knees to her chest, biting into her kneecap to silence herself as the large tears leaked from her cerulean eyes. She rocked herself gently, thinking of her momma. Thinking she will never see her again. Thinking she may never see any of them again.

Dawn laughed in the background, _"This is your legacy, Beth! Death! Don't you see? You are not supposed to be here, Beth! Just give up!"_ The ghost sighed and sat beside the shattered girl, murmuring on about various methods of suicide well the blonde fell off to lala land.

Beth didn't know how long she sat on the ground like that, she didn't know how long ago the sun had set and moon had risen and how long she had managed to stay hidden from the dead. But a twig snapped behind her and, just like a doe in the forest, she was suddenly on her feet and alert. She had brought her knife up to her chin and her fist at the height of her shoulder, eyes darting through the shadows. She found nor heard anything, but still felt like something there was watching her. She figured perhaps it had been a walker stuck on something. What she did know was that she needed to get off the street and somewhere safe. She needed to shelter herself and let the nightmares she knew would haunt her tonight have their way. So she sheathed the knife and collected the crossbow from the street, walking into the dead town she had stared at blankly all night.

She curled up in the passenger seat of the car, watching Daryl intently as he cleaned the grime from beneath his finger nails. He puffed on a cigarette dangled loosely between his lips and pretended he wasn't watching her watching him. She was smiling softly and perfectly content with the warm silence that surrounded them. When he finally finished and put the knife away, Beth reached out and tugged at his finger, pulling his hand closer so she could weave her little fingers into his and press her petite palm to the warmth of his own. He watched her intently but did not pull his hand away, instead, his fingers gave a belittling twitch as they slowly began to close around her hand, his thumb tracing back and forth against the softness it found there. She was just sitting up to shift herself closer to him when the first few walkers slammed their bodies into the frame of the car, then more and more walkers, limbs and faces and teeth snapping against the glass windows all around them. Beth screamed and Daryl tensed, both panicking and trying to find a way out, but they were surrounded entirely. Daryl stared mutely at the steering wheel column, chewing on his lip. Beth saw him and knew, in her bones, she knew; he was going to leave her. He was going to save her, sacrificing himself.

"No. Don't you dare! No, no, no. NO! You are not doing this to me, Daryl, absofuckinglutely not!"

He lunged over the middle of the car and caught Beth by her face, one hand sliding back into her hair and pulling her towards him, he crashed his lips breathlessly over hers and kissed her possessively, thickly, passionately. He poured all of it into this kiss, every drop. Pulling back, he grazed his thumb over her lip, "I love you," he whispered roughly before swiftly popping the door open and exiting the car, vanishing into that bottomless darkness and leaving Beth to sob uncontrollably alone in the car.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 4

Beth sat upright on the couch in the living room of the abandoned house she dubbed her safe zone, her arms folded across her chest and her legs folded beneath her. She had woken up early, early enough to watch the sunrise through the large bay windows in front of her. She guessed the sun had been up for about two hours before she dragged herself from the couch, her bones cracking from stiffness, she might as well investigate the area and see what the neighborhood could tell her about her family. She collected her bags and her crossbow once more and left the sanctuary of a broken home.

Trekking through the streets and examining every single body she came across did little to ease the deep fissure growing inside, even though she had yet to see anything indicating her people had been there. And perhaps that hurt a bit lower inside her than she was willing to admit or could even currently be able to feel, but with each corpse she found that she didn't recognize, she told herself there was still hope. Even if it did feel like a fleeting kind of hope. Maybe the compound was just as destroyed when they had come here too. They had to have come here; Noah would have come here, even if alone, at the very least. But Beth found nothing, nothing that screamed any of them had been there. That was until she came to an intersection on the other side of the poorly guarded development. There were a few walkers there that had been sliced up and decapitated smoothly. Sliced the same way Michone would have done with her katana. The clean cut through each decaying body was so controlled and precise that Beth felt it in her soul; Michone had been here. She was right, her family had been here!

But where are they now?

They clearly hadn't even felt this place was worth trying to fix up and rebuild on. So where would they have gone? Wouldn't she have passed them on her way here if they had just decided to head back? Could her luck really be that bad as to have passed them entirely? The two fresh cuts on her arm itched and burned, she tried to keep from scratching at them, but continuously caught herself scratching through the cloth bandages. She scolded herself weakly as she shoved her hand into her pocket and tried to figure out what to do next. She tried to think like Rick. Like Michone, Daryl, Carol and everyone else that always seemed so concerned with the whole group's well-being, the decision makers. Where would they go? Cities and previously high populated areas have a tendency to be overrun with walkers these days, but her group has been known to utilize the mass amounts of disregarded supplies that could be found there.

Would they try for D.C.?

No, that was a little too big of a stretch to have already come so far for nothing. They would likely stay away from there, maybe a smaller local city? She looked over her map again, trying to decide what direction to go in next. She moved her finger along route 95, seeing Spotsylvania and Fredericksburg and Stafford. Then she saw Alexandria, something fluttered through her when her finger landed on it. It seemed like an ideal spot on paper, close enough to D.C. for runs if need be, right near the water, plenty of land. Beth chewed on her lip and mulled over the idea that they had gone in that direction.

But what if they went back towards home?

 _Home ain't got nothin' for us no more..._

She sighed. He was right. Home held nothing but pain and absolute heart break for their entire strewn together family at this point. So she folded up her map, and began her long journey on foot from Richmond, heading towards Alexandria; feeling just as lost as she had the first time she recalled emerging from her coma.

Beth sucked on the hard candies she had found in the big store, trying to entertain herself by finding shapes in shadows. It was far too bright to stare up at the big blue sky and try to find shapes in the clouds, she would hurt her eyes and have a hard time seeing her surroundings should anything pop up. She had been walking for hours, attempting to tune Dawn out. The sun closer to setting than she was comfortable with, but she just couldn't bring herself to stop and set up camp yet. She didn't know what kept her going, she felt so emotionally numb. She just wanted to lie down and stare at the stars and forget about everything. But something kept pushing her; kept telling her to keep going, keep movin', it ain't safe.

She felt fine while she slept in Gorman's car, aside from her usual night terrors. She felt perfectly safe in the big scary super store, too. But all night last night and all day today, Beth Greene could not shake the feeling that she was being followed, being watched. She ignored it for most of the day, but as she walked she found the feeling staring her down, face to face. More so now that she was fully examining her own subconscious and her darkening surroundings. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end, her mouth went dry, and her ears felt cold. She twitched her eyes in every direction, turned and walked backwards for a bit, trying to scope out where she had come from. But nothing moved. Nothing stood out of place. There was just the long empty stretch of road that lay before her and behind her.

Telling herself she is losing it, Beth decided to keep walking a little longer. Maybe even find something to eat that had rich red blood flowing through its veins. She tried to ignore how much that thought made her feel like a walker aimlessly wandering in search of food; but really she was no better off than one. Here she is, wandering around, separated from all her loved ones who think/know she's dead, hoping to find something to eat and merely making grunting noises by way of communication. Her stomach released a loud hollow growl and she mentally added those noises to the list as well.

Dusk was quickly setting in and Beth could tell she was going to have to settle down somewhere soon. She contemplated briefly continuing in the hopes of finding a car to sleep in for the night, but she decided she didn't want to trust hope that much. It hadn't been doing so well for her lately. So Beth stepped off the main road and into the cover of the trees, using her knife to make small marks in the bark so she could find her way back to the highway in the morning. She found a small group of nestled trees and decided to stop there to make a small camp for the night. She strung up her barriers and set up a small fire to heat up a can of beans, which she was about to rummage through the food bag for when the tree limbs above her gave a great groan of protest and someone lithely jumped down from the tree above her and sat swiftly across from her. He held a gun steadily aimed at her face and all Beth could think was how badly she wanted to punch this stranger for making her feel crazy all day long.

"You've been following me."

He nodded once and slowly, his shoulder length greasy black hair shifting with the movement revealing a pale white scar on his forehead in the shape of a 'W'. She couldn't tell if it was self-inflicted or not, but based purely on his apparel and animalistic behavior, she was leaning towards mr. crazy pants being in some kind of gang and having to do that to himself was part of the initiation. Or he was running solo; either way she was already very weary of him. She tapped her own forehead in question. The man looked upwards, towards the bright crescent moon, and howled. Not loudly enough to draw the dead towards them, but loudly enough to make his point while answering her question. Wolf.

 _Holy Shit._ She thought, schooling her expression and taking even more care to be aware of her surroundings, _This guy is nuts... Okay, so he's a wolf. Wolves are pack animals, right? So where is the rest of his pack?_

He had his head tilted as he watched her, his cold brown eyes never dipped lower than hers and that seemed to scare her more than if he had been virtually molesting her with his eyes. At least that way she would have had some semblance of an idea as to who and what she was dealing with. But this guy was silent and coy, and it sent shivers through her. It was his turn to indicate a question, so his finger pointed to his arm and his eyes dropped to her bandage.

 _Lie ta him._

Daryl's unexpected voice in her head nearly made her shout, but she kept her composure and even managed to put on a sad, crestfallen face. She brought her brightly burning eyes back up to his and slowly licked her lips then snapped her teeth at him, like a predator would. She watched as realization slowly dawned on him and couldn't help the bubble of giggles that threatened to erupt from her at the sight of his face. He looked torn somewhere between fear, confusion, and apprehension. He furrowed his brows at her, his voice surprisingly softer than she thought it would be, "How long ago?"

"Yesterday."

"Do you have a group?"

"No."

He nodded, looking back down to the dirt. He sniffed a few more times, his face scrunching up in an ugly scowl, before he gestured to her bow, "Tha's nice."

Beth didn't move, not a single muscle besides her face since he had dropped down in front of her. She felt her fingers itching to take aim at him, to put an end to this maddening game he was forcing her to play, but she didn't dare move.

"I want it. I want everything ya got, blondie."

"Think you can handle that?"

The words slid from her like silk before she even contemplated responding to him. But it seemed to give him pause and that was all she needed. Beth lunged forward, sending a fist full of dusty dirt and smoldering ashes into the Wolf's eyes. Her hand stung from the embers but she didn't care, snatching up her bow and taking a few steps back, Beth brought up her aim and prepared to shoot. He growled, falling backwards on his haunches, and then Beth kicked him in his face as hard as she possibly could. He fell flat on his back, the gun he held falling to the side. Beth moved so fast her own actions had not yet registered, her foot firmly in place at his neck, the bolt ready to be fired from her crossbow drawing a small pinprick of blood on his forehead, aimed at the bottom of the 'w'. Slowly he settled his eyes on her through the blood leaking over his face from a gash on the bridge of his nose and took all of her in, smirking. His grin turned into full blown laughs and she was so tempted to do it, just pull the trigger and put an end to his nonsense. He let out another howl, this one different; louder and with meaning.

It dawned on Beth too lately that he had called out to others, to his pack. The thought actually hadn't occurred to her at all until she heard the bushes moving behind her, and felt the body slam into her with every ounce of its force. She hit the ground hard, all the air rushing from her at once when the body landed firmly over top of her. She tried to move, to roll out from under whoever it was, to draw sweet air into her burning lungs, to scratch at the ground. Beth couldn't move. She began to fear she had just been paralyzed when the body in question moved. She rolled onto her back instantly, preparing to kick herself up onto her feet. But something hard and solid landed forcefully on her face, her head snapped back against the cold ground, and everything that was surrounding her faded into nothing.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 5

Her head hurt worse than it did after she had been shot, but she supposed though that was because she **had** been shot in the head and would always be sensitive in that regard. She could tell she had been brought to the woods, and that she had been tied upright and standing to a tree. She could smell smoke, so she knew there was a fire burning nearby. And if the breeze told her anything, they were eating her beans. Her stomach growled in protest but she strained herself to learn more about where she was. The ground beneath her was slick with fresh dew, so it was still relatively early morning. She could hear birds chirping and rushing water. And she could hear voices, but Beth couldn't make them out, her head throbbed painfully, blocking the full sound of their words. Her nose hurt fiercely and so did the tender spot on the back of her head. That painful spot was starting to send sharp pains down her neck the more she woke up. She winced as she slowly turned her head from side to side and tested her mobility. She carefully opened her eyes, taking in the large trees around her; Fall was taking over and turning their leaves marvelous shades of yellows, reds, and oranges. Beth knew she could spend hours admiring their beauty but her hearing was starting to adjust and she could finally make out some of what they were saying.

"… wants to make his move soon. Thinks that group is gettin' too big."

"Ain't that the fun of it though?" this voice she recognized as her face to face camp intruder. The first voice must belong to his pet Quarterback Gorilla. "Lettin' the groups get big means a bloodier mess. Always means I have more fun, 'least…"

"'Member that group? The ones that was walking all up the back roads round this area?"

"Ones wit' the baby, an the chick wit' a sword, righ'?" the camp intruder asked.

"Yeah, them."

Beth froze, panic washed over her so thickly she felt like still water. Completely immobile. They meant Judith. And Michone. Maggie and Daryl! They were talking about her family!

"Thinks they could mean trouble fer us now they got to Alexandria. They's headed that way, so he's sure they in there by now." The gorilla finished.

"He wants to pick that group off one by one, doesn't he?"

"I think so. He likes takin' em out like that."

"So what are we doin' with her?"

"You know he likes the Blondes, gonna have ta bring her back to him."

Beth swallowed around the large lump that had formed in her throat, tuning the wolves out as their conversation drifted away from importance. Her breath rose and fell steadily, her eyes like blue saucers. She struggled to push back all of her panic and fear. She needed to focus and concentrate on how to get out of this. If her group was headed towards Alexandria, and there was any kind of established safe zone there, than that is exactly where her family is this second. She could feel the certainty securely in her heart, in her bones, her family was there. But how much longer did they have if these wolf-freaks are out for their blood? She had to get away from them. She needed to get to Alexandria ASAP and warn them. Even if by some chance her family was not there, whatever spark of civilization was there deserved a chance, a heads-up before the shit hit the fan. Well, that's how Maggie would have called it. And it felt pretty damn appropriate for the situation.

 _"_ _Did you hear that, Bethy? Someone has big plans for dumb little blondes like you. Maybe you will serve a purpose in this world after all…"_ Dawn tormented her as shivers wracked her body, the memory of Gordon's hand in her pants alone is enough to churn her stomach, how much more could she really take? What would a faceless, ruthless pack leader do to her? _"Better question is what wouldn't he do to you, Beth. And you thought I was bad,"_ Dawn scoffed.

If these men were willing to pick off a group caring for a toddler one by one, than they held no regard for sexual assault or rape. She did figure, though, that if the leader liked blondes; any damage inflicted on them was likely to be preferred by his hands only. So these two would be punished if they brought her back vitally injured and already used, because if not then she would be a hell of a lot worse off by now. Conceivably, for the mean time, she is relatively safe then. As safe as being abducted by humans-turned-primal could be…

She had to pretend to be unconscious still, if she alerted them to the fact that she was awake, they would have their guard up. They wouldn't discuss anything more about their leader or their plans for Alexandria or Rick and the others. She needed to gather as much information as possible, so when they came to check on her, she pretended to be out cold, slumped forward and deadweight on the ropes. They discussed their options for a short time standing in front of her before deciding to just continue to carry her and keep moving.

"You're the one gonna carry her." The camp intruder said smartly.

"Why me? I carried her all night!"

"Cuz you decided to knock her out like she was 900 pounds instead of 90 soakin' wet. Shit, this rate, be surprised she don't turn on us halfway there…"

"Jus' add her to the trap if she do…"

She felt them untie her from the tree and braced herself for what she knew was about to happen. Neither cared nor thought to support her, so with the slackened ropes, Beth fell face forward to the ground. She took the fall and clamped down hard on her knee-jerk reactions to simultaneously get up and run, or cry out in pain and roll around on the ground for a bit. Instead she lay there limply and waited patiently to be picked up. The guy that carried her did so over his shoulder, keeping the hand of that arm tightly at the crease behind her knee. Beth hadn't noticed earlier, but her hair had come loose, and now it fell and flowed freely to the ground, swaying with the wolf's large stride. She couldn't tell where the other wolf was in comparison but she did find she could open her eyes without risk of being noticed thanks to her hair. She kept her ears pried to their conversations, soaking up every bit of information she could about this wolf pack and their plans. They walked on through the woods and Beth mildly wondered how they knew where they were going. She wondered if perhaps they had romped around this area for so long that they knew every little speck of it, every molecule of dirt. She thought of her Daddy's farm. She knew that farm like she knew the warmth of the summer sun and the sweet kiss of rich ripe cherries and the long slow rides on Nessie and the gooey goodness of roasted marshmallows. She knew that farm better than she knew herself these days. She bounced along and reminisced dearly on her past, missing her daddy even more dearly.

 _Stay strong, Bethy. We all got jobs to do, and that's yours._

She caught herself faintly nodding to her father, swallowing the thick emotions that put tears in her eyes. Beth took a slow deep breath so she wouldn't draw attention from the man carrying her and set her jaw firmly. She needed to get away from these guys, she needed to come up with a plan.

They walked longer and without stopping then Beth would have dared, and it only furthered her belief that these men really might not be men anymore. The more they spoke and the things they spoke of? They weren't even wolves. Wolves are part of a pack, they protect each other fiercely and raise their young together. Wolf packs are family units. Her group was and is far more like a wolf pack than these- these monsters could ever be. And that is exactly what they are; Monsters. The way they nonchalantly discussed such disgusting things like murder and rape and enslavement, it made Beth sick to her stomach. It also furthered her resolve to get away from them.

So when they finally stopped moving and sat her down against a tree, her mind instantly started turning over the plan she had made. She felt them tie the rope around her just a few loose times and tie it off near her at that. "In case she turns tonight" and listened to them walk away. She listened for them for what felt like eons before she finally opened her eyes and looked around. They were on the side of a road, and a few yards down from her stood a billboard sign that read "Welcome to Alexandria!" in large pretty letters. Beth almost gasped out loud. These guys had done a lot of damn walking the last night and day, carrying her while they were at it. The first thing Beth did was pull her hair back up into it's ponytail, then she looked around the tree she was tied to this time. Their bags and hers sat in a pile a few feet beside and behind her, her crossbow missing. She looked around reverently and anxiously listened to the telling signs of the trees. She felt pretty sure they had gone hunting, so Beth worked away at the knot on the rope. She pulled it free and shot up from the tree, running to the bags. She scoured through them until she found her knives. One she attached to the back of her belt and tucked in her waist band to keep hidden. The other she pulled from its sheath and kept in her hand. She gulped openly from the remains of her water bottle, panting as she caped the bottle and shoved it back in her bag. She glanced around nervously, the telling signs of twigs cracking beneath heavy feet echoing off the trees. Beth put the dull side of the blade in her mouth and jumped up to grab onto a low hanging branch, climbing the tree she had been tied to. She found a perch over the spot she had been sitting and waited.

The two wolves emerged from the thick trees on the other side of the one Beth perched herself in, they strode to the bags and paid no mind to the lack of a certain blonde. She watched them skin their kill and start a fire despite the attention it could draw from both the living and the dead. She glanced around herself in the darkness, the heavy night crisp and cool, but still they burned a high fire and cooked their dinner.

She was kind of surprised, truth be told. She would have guessed these savages would eat their meat raw and preferably still screaming in agony. Just like a walker. A Walker! _That's what their 'w's stand for; Walkers, not wolves!_

They finished up their meal and decided someone should check on the 'princess'. Beth repositioned herself and got ready to jump down and make her own attack move. It all fell right into place in her mental plan so much that Beth almost thought they were on to her after all, but regardless, her camp intruder had sent the Gorilla, saying again that it should be him because of the force he had used on her. He grumbled as he stood from the fire and turned to walk to the other side of the tree, where Beth sat above, prepared to strike. He came around to her side and stared mutely at the empty space and limp lying rope. Just as he turned to call out, Beth fell onto his back, driving her blade into the side of his neck, it shocked her how much it felt like draining a big game of its blood in the physical realm, but in the spiritual realm it felt like she had done this to herself. His eyes big and round, he stared at Beth and sputtered blood on her face in his shock. He started to fall towards the tree, so Beth kicked her foot out and pushed off of the trunk of it, using the momentum to swing herself around her adversary; slicing his neck clean across and covering her in his blood. She rubbed it from her eyes and stepped away from his falling body just in time to see a fist flying towards her face. Beth luckily ducked in time and easily dodged his heavy blow, tripping his feet and sending her camp intruder into the tree. She backed away and lifted her fists and knife like she had done that night just outside of Richmond.

"You're pretty quick on your feet for someone who'd been knocked out all day." He grumbled through his bloody nose, emphasis draining the accent from his words.

Beth shrugged and continued moving by circling around him, "Wasn't knocked out all day, I was restin'. So I could kill you." The words left such a bad taste on her tongue that Beth genuinely considered just running, and leaving him. She had already killed one, did she really need to kill him too? But she already knew she would have to kill him, because if she didn't, he would kill her. And everyone she loves. So Beth kept up her foot work and kept her eyes focused on her target. She didn't realize when the tables had turned in their little dance, but suddenly, they had. She lunged out with her knife and tried to stab him, but he managed to land that punch on her jaw after all and Beth spun around on her heel. The wolf-man grabbed ahold of her ponytail and yanked, "You think you gon' kill me? I'm a Wolf little girl, and only another wolf can take me out."

Beth bristled at his words as she softly moved between them to get her second knife free, "Yeah? Well just remember you asked for this when you said you want all I got!" Beth twisted her arm back quickly and she sliced her knife up along the inside of her ponytail, cutting her hair away from the restraining hold and releasing his grip on her head. She spun around and sent her knife into his chest and twisting it before shoving into the handle with all her force.

The wolf stumbled back, blinking in shock at the golden locks he held in his hand. He fell back onto the tree and slid down, finally moving his eyes upwards to meet Beth's own frozen blue eyes.

"You are one….ya know. A wolf…." His chest made a sickening suctioning sound around her blade that made Beth grimace and desperately want to puke. But she didn't, she didn't even move. She didn't argue with him either, because in that moment, she wasn't so sure he was wrong. She stood glued to the spot and watched the light fade from him. She didn't even know his name. But she had killed him.

Beth moved forward slowly, dropping down low to his level, she carefully reached out and closed his eyes. Pulling the knife from his chest, she sent the tip of her blade into his cranial cavity, assuring no resurrection could occur. She moved back to the other guy, and did the same curtesy she knew they would not have given her.

 _But that is what separates us from monsters like these men, Bethy. That is what makes us human._

"It's okay, Daddy. I don't cry anymore." She replied to her his whispered words.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6

She hadn't slept.

Beth dragged the wolves' bodies one at a time away from the camp they had made, taking them as deep into the woods as she dared go in the darkness that only seemed to get darker. She wasn't entirely sure why, but she even stayed to cover them with fallen tree limbs and leaves. She wondered if she would have buried them if she had had a shovel as she made her way back to the burning fire at their resting point. It wasn't really a camp, just a fire and a stack of supplies. And a thick puddle of blood.

Beth went through the bags at first, distracting herself and doing whatever she could not to stare at the big red pool. She tossed most of what they had possessed, only keeping the meat jerky and the knives. The gun didn't have bullets. _How about that_. She bitterly tossed it to the side.

She readjusted her own bags twice before she realized they no longer distracted her from her thoughts let alone the puddle of their blood and the stain running down the tree. Beth moved slowly closer, staring at her red reflection, hearing too many ghosts in her head. She continued to step closer until she realized one more step and she'd be standing in it. She shook herself off and grabbed the rope up instead, rolling it up and tucking it in her bag.

She looked around for something else, anything to pull her from the darkness growing in her chest. Anything to pull her from the edge of that place she lost a little more of herself to each time she fell in. She tried to lose herself in her map, but realized she really didn't know where she was, just on the edge of Alexandria somewhere.

She found herself staring into the fire just to avoid staring at that damned puddle, watching the flames dance. She refused to sleep, knowing the Ghosts would be waiting there for her, too. She put a great deal of effort into keeping her mind blank, but she could feel herself slipping. She could feel that deep fissure inside her and she could feel its cold claws on her ankles, trying to drag her in. Her chest was getting tighter, the muscles in her neck were starting to feel tense and her eyes were burning. Beth was on the brink and desperate not to fall in, her nails unconsciously dug into her fresh cuts, the bandages starting to turn red at her fingertips.

" _Bethy, why don't you sing?"_ her daddy's voice whispered to her from the fire, feeling like satin to her soul.

" _Please, please don't,"_ Dawn's voice responded, _"Nobody wants to hear it!"_

 _"_ _Oh I dunno, might be kinda nice. Can't remember last time I heard any music"_

Beth's eyes snapped up and connected to her camp intruder's eyes. He smirked at her and tilted his head, watching her as her bottom lip began to tremble. She clamped down on it between her teeth.

" _Oh, Bethy, when are you going to accept your place in this world? When are you going to accept you are weak? Just stay in your grave, bitch!"_ Dawn shouted at her, shaking her head in disapproval while her shoulders shook with laughter.

"You stay in your fuckin' grave, Bitch!"

Beth shot to her feet, her chest heaving and eyes darting frantically around the fire, seeing nothing, seeing her ghosts, seeing that damned puddle of blood. She stormed over to it, pulling her knife from its sheath she shoved her sleeve up and ripped the bandage from her arm and dragged the blade deeply down her flesh again, and again, "Is this what you want? Does this make you happy? Make ya feel like justice is bein' served every time I fuckin' mutilate myself because'a you? Huh?" Beth pulled the blade down a third final time, her blood dripping into a slow steady pour down into the puddle. She watched the ripples it sent across her reflection and shuddered. She dipped down, her knife falling from her slackened grip. She pushed her hand into her reflected face, a broken sob falling out as she pushed the image of herself into the blood soaked mud. She brought her hand out of the puddle and watched herself in the ripples until they faded. Mutely, Beth brought her hand up to her face and drew a 'W' on her own forehead.

" _Supposed to stand for weak?"_ Dawn inquired with a sting.

" _Nah, she's a wolf. Wolves ain't weak. Wolves are Survivors. Killers. They whatever they need to be. Told her she a wolf."_ Dawn rolled her eyes at the ghost of the wolf and Beth tried to ignore both the dead bickering people in her head, but his words settled inside her and made her feel sick again. So, she pushed both hands into his blood and brought them both to her face, masking herself in the wolves' combined liquid essence. She lowered her hands and stared at her reflection until the sun joined her on the puddles surface.

She numbly looked down at her arm. Blinking at the blood that still dripped from her hand; much more slowly, but that was a bad sign. She had lost a significant amount of blood, so her pressure has dropped. Drastically. She didn't feel she had the strength to actually get up and walk, so Beth tucked her bleeding arm to her chest and scooted herself little by little to her bags. She slowly pulled out the suture kit and the supplies she would need to clean and dress it. She got to work, slowly and steady. Stitching it up hurt like hell, but she didn't flinch. The pain, she kept telling herself, was her proof that she was alive despite her quickly developing bad habits. She could tell by the damage she had already done to herself that she was only going to get worse, and she will need to talk to someone about it. She sighed, pouring some water over the freshly sewn cuts to get rid of the blood, then cushioned the cuts with gauze before wrapping it up.

Twigs started snapping in the woods beside Beth, sending the hairs on the back of her neck to attention. She turned to see some walkers moving through the trees, groaning in their search for their next meal. Mild panic erupted in Beth's gut as she reached anxiously for her crossbow. She whimpered and scooted closer to its resting place, the groans of the dead moving closer as well. She snatched the bow up and brought it forward swiftly, taking her aim, missing and hitting the walker in his hip. The force knocked it from its joint and the decayed body crumbled to the ground, crawling to advance on her. Beth reloaded as quickly as she could, struggling to pull it back into place. She finally heard the telling click and positioned the bolt, aiming and hitting her target between the eyes this time. She readied the bow again, taking even longer the second round, and managed to hit her second target spot on as well. But the last walker was too close for her to get the bow ready in time, and her knife was still by that godforsaken puddle of blood. Beth cried out when the walker tripped over her feet and landed on top of her, struggling against his slick rotten flesh to keep his snapping jaws from her own skin. Beth cried out, her arms trembling from the exertion of her quickly fading energy.

" _Just stop fighting, Beth. You're not built for it."_ Dawn's voice bit out harshly.

Tears welled up in Beth's eyes, her chest tightening again as the wolves in her head began howling.

No one would miss her. Everyone she cares about already thinks she's dead. No one would mourn her because they already have. They still are. She could just drop her arms, she could just give up, and let him eat her flesh while she screams and cries and begs and draws more walkers from the woods to devour her alive.

And just as Beth's arms were starting to give out, just as she was preparing to let them fall and let the walker have its meal; the decayed body snapping its jaws at her vanished. She brought her knees to her heaving chest and then Beth collapsed to the side and watched the world go sideways through her blurred tunnel vision. Someone was pulling a knife from the skull of the walker that had been attacking her. They were slowly standing up and turning towards her. Beth took a slow inhale and let her eyes close. She exhaled and opened them again, the person was moving towards her now. Her eyes closed on their own accord and Beth had to fight to open them again. The feet were right in front of her now, but when she turned to look up at the person, the bright sky blinded her and she faded from consciousness.

"C'mon, hun, you gotta wake up. You need to eat something, get your body working to produce more blood so you can get stronger."

She heard him ramble on as he adjusted her against the tree into a more sitting position, she moaned in protest and could feel his smile.

"I know, but I made you some soup!"

Beth inhaled deeply through her nose and could smell the crisp autumn evening, the smoldering fire to her side, clean cotton clothes paired with aftershave, and chicken noodle soup. She opened her eyes to stare at her companion, who seemed over joyed at the sight of her own blue eyes. His hair was thick and curly, and his blue eyes warm with such empathy it hurt Beth to look at. She blinked and lowered her eyes, he was clean cut, shaven and pretty cuticles included. His clothes looked like they had been hot-ironed and starched and Beth thought she might be dead now. He held up the can of soup with a spoon in it, "Please eat, you look so pale and your lips are turning blue."

Her brows knit together, "Who the hell are you?"

"I'm sorry. My name is Aaron. I live in a community nearby. I was heading home earlier when I saw you struggling with that rotter."

Beth's eyes widen and she sat up higher, trying to get closer to him. He pushed back gently on her shoulder but she waved him away, "You live in Alexandria? You're in danger! We have to get to them, to your community!"

"What do you mean?" Aaron's voice dipped low, a menacing shadow falling over his face. He stood slowly, "What are we in danger from?"

"There are bad people out here, Aaron! Crazy men, they think they are pack of wolves or some shit, they're fallowing a group, a group you took in! Please, Aaron, this group is my family! Please! You are all in danger!" Beth was growing frantic, struggling to get up onto her own feet. Aaron reached out and steadied her, confusion growing more eminent on his face.

"Do you mean Rick and the others? Daryl?"

Beth's eyes snapped to Aaron's eyes so hard it nearly caused whiplash, "I need to warn them. I need to save my family."

Aaron swallowed thickly and nodded, concern and panic causing a blood vessel to throb at his neck. His mind was racing and Beth could tell he was scared, she could sympathize, she herself being downright terrified. Aaron ran his hand through his hair a few times, saying 'okay' a couple more times before fully turning back to face her.

"We will leave in the morning. It's too late in the evening to start now, and you need some serious rest. I can't support you the whole way, least of all carry you. If we come into trouble, one of us needs to be able to take care of it while the other takes care of themselves."

Beth started to protest but he put his hands up, "I mean it. You look dead on your feet, and you lost a lot of blood. You need rest, and to eat." He pointed back to the soup. Beth deflated and nodded, slowly lowering herself back to the ground. She picked up the can and began eating from it.

"I still don't know your name."

Beth swallowed the bit of soup in her mouth and looked up at Aaron over the fire, "Beth," she said simply, going back to her can of soup. She hadn't realized how hungry she was, but now that she's eating, she doesn't want to stop. She missed the shocked look that passed over Aaron's face before a soft, knowing smile took over.

The pair sat comfortably as could be, with both stressing over all the possible outcomes the next few days could have for them. Occasionally Beth would ask a question about Alexandria, or her family and how they have been, which would gain her some interesting looks and even more questioning responses. And Aaron would often ask one of his own questions, pertaining to the wolves and how she knows about what they have planned. She noticed the saddened look that came over him when she brought up Noah and Richmond. She swallowed tightly and looked to him, expecting some kind of declaration of death followed by an explanation but Aaron remained stoic and silent on the subject. Beth figured if there was a story, perhaps he felt it would be better to come from her family. It made her stomach twist up as she was revisited with thoughts of how they would embrace her return. Of how they would embrace Her.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 7

Despite Beth's protests, Aaron made her sleep the whole night through. Except she didn't sleep the whole night through, her nightmares took such a strong hold on her; Aaron had inadvertently drawn walkers to them by loudly calling her name and shaking her to wake her up. She shot up, drenched in a cold sweat and an altogether different kind of pale that made his chest tighten. She blank several times looking up at the moon while she mentally shoved her nightmares back into their chained boxes. She had to fight with her ghosts, who were fighting with each other over her. The wolves howling inside of her, filling her up with their madness while Dawn religiously belittled everything about her and then her father would both try to soothe his daughter and preach to Dawn and the Wolves. She forced the memories associated with her ghosts back down and tried to swallow them, tried to digest them and remove them from her system, but that only made her think of cutting her arm to bleed them out all over again. She shivered and tried over and over to regain control and push it all down. Once her breathing returned to normal, she tried to tell Aaron she would take over watch so he could sleep, but he pushed her back down, shaking his head.

"Sleep, please. I know the nightmares are bad, but you need it".

Beth wanted to argue, but the warmth still lingered on her body and the night was such a smooth kind of darkness that sleep easily took her once more before she could. This time at least, she didn't dream at all. She fell right back into a deep sleep, her chest rising and falling in such a steady rhythm Aaron found he could measure time by watching her, and thankfully Beth stayed that way until well after sunrise. By the time she did finally wake up, Aaron had prepared more food for her and insisted she drink a whole bottle of water before they get started on their walk towards Alexandria. She ate the can of beans he had heated for her and accepted the meat jerky he forced on her in addition, with some reluctance. But again she found herself nearly shoveling the food in, her body humming at the simple joy of receiving nourishment. She did, however, force a piece of the meat on Aaron in return. He relented and accepted much easier than Beth had, which made her smile. He seemed very pleased with that smile and returned one of his own as he nibbled on the jerky.

When they got up and started getting ready to leave, Aaron had tried to carry all the bags, but Beth refused.

"At least let me carry that duffle bag, its heavy and it will wear you out quickly. "

"I'm not weak, Aaron. I was carrying all of my stuff just fine before I met you."

"And then you cut your arm up and lost an incredible amount of blood, a discussion we will go into further length with later, but for right now, you carry a light load and make it back to your people; Alive!" He emphasized on his last word and put the strap over his shoulder, turning on his heel and effectively ended the argument.

Beth huffed and shouldered the food bag, her crossbow in her hands as she followed Aaron down the road they had spent longer than she'd have liked to on the side of.

That had been almost two hours ago. Now, they walked calmly side by side. They hadn't done much talking since then, just the general 'Is that a walker?', 'no.', 'that is, though'. She was beginning to think maybe he had forgotten about her cutting thing when he finally turned to her and started talking.

"I'm gay. I wasn't sure if its obvious or not. But I am. My mother; she was in denial my whole life. But she told me once that she had known since I was a small toddler. Said she could feel it, later she would tell me how sorry she was for letting the fear it made her feel consume her, but that's for a different conversation."

Beth side-eyed him quietly as they walked, listening to the back story he was giving her, wondering if he was going to try to pull her story from her. Her jaw clenched at the thought of him trying to pry in to her life or what she's been through. But he didn't ask an question and he didn't look curious. Beth noticed how Aaron didn't really look at her as he continued talking, his past shifting all the colors that usually seemed to highlight him.

"When I was in college, I met this guy. Pretty hot and cool kind of guy, in the gay-party scene kind of way. He was addicted to heroin, and I told myself I could fix him; I could pull him out of it. I fell hard for him, though, and I fell even harder into his lifestyle."

Beth quirked her eyebrow at him, "You don't look like a heroin addict, or like you ever were one."

"I wasn't one. I fancied pills. Opiate based especially. I would go on pill benders for days and days and I would come out the other side and not remember a damn thing that had happened the last three days, four days. I did some pretty terrible things in that time. I was the result of a lot of bad things that happened, even the deaths of some of my friends and I lost a lot of my family members because of what damage I inflicted on them."

Beth fell silent, this conversation wasn't really going where she was expecting it to but it was at the same time. He was trying to bond with her, just like she figured he would, but he wasn't trying to compare. And she realized sadly because what had damaged him had been just as painful for him as what had damaged her, they didn't need to be similar. He was simply showing her his 'scars', so to speak, to tell her that he gets it, he knows what its like on some level. She felt such heaviness to the air around them, and this time, when she felt the urge to comfort someone again, she didn't resist she reached out and gave Aaron's hand a small squeeze.

"And then he died of an overdose. And I was…lost. I was supposed to walk across the stage two days after it happened, I didn't go. Still technically graduated, but my entire family showed up despite everything I had been doing to them, and I was eight blocks away, blacked out in a puddle of my own urine and vomit. I had a grand mall seizure in an ally and it took two days before someone found me. A week later I tried again, swallowed every pill bottle I could find. That was a scary high, let me tell you."

He was staring at the ground as they walked now, his shoulders slumped and something so dark and haunted moved in his eyes it hurt Beth to see. She was starting to see what he was getting at, and with his next words, she knew that they were both coming to a very clear understanding of each other.

"I was surrounded by ghosts, by so many of the people I had lost. The people I had hurt. I tried everything I could to get away from them, to keep them quiet. To bleed them out." He lifted his eyes to hers now, they were softer and lighter but there were still clouds there, "I almost died several times trying to get away from them."

"Did you?" Beth's voice came out so quietly she wasn't sure he had heard her, but he nodded, "How?" this time her voice came out stronger.

"Rehab." He said with a shrug, "And realizing that the ghosts were just a disguise for me to use against myself. We are our own nemesis."

They fell back into silence as Beth mulled over everything he had told her. It made sense that she is in control of her own ghosts, but how does she stop hurting herself like she does? Even if they did have a rehab for people who cut themselves, she can't exactly go to it. And it's not like she could turn through the yellow pages and find a therapist to go to either.

 _"_ _You don't need rehab, Beth, you need a lobotomy."_

Beth mentally flicked Dawn off as she drank from her water bottle. And if she is the one in control of her ghosts and she's the one using them as boxing gloves to punch herself with, then why the hell don't they go away and leave her alone when she tells them to?

The further they walked, the more she thought on it and the more Dawn and the Wolves chatter ran rampant in her mind; the more irritated she began to grow with herself. Everyone she knows has been through their share of truly awful experiences, and here she is in her corner, having melt downs and cutting herself like a brat. She has never once seen anyone mutilate themselves like she does to herself and all it does is make her feel worse, make her feel more sick, and not just to her stomach but sick in the head, too, especially when the Wolf reminds her of his own mutilating forehead 'W'.

 _You cut yourself one more damn time, Beth Greene, and you better cut deep enough to die._ She told herself angrily.

" _What have I been saying this whole time?"_ Dawn's voiced drawled.

Beth gave Dawn, and herself, a swift mental kick in the ass and continued walking silently beside Aaron, trying to ignore her new aggravations.

It was a little while later when it hit Beth like a ton of bricks. Aaron had become her friend. And it wasn't just surprising on her part, with Beth having found being a lot less trusting and a lot less eager to comfort these days. It was surprising how easily Aaron had accepted her and even opened up to her, considering the world they live in now. Considering that she had been in a rather less than sane state of mind when he had come upon her. But after Beth had told him what her name was, all reservations she felt from him towards her had vanished. He knew who she was, someone had told him about her! But who? Maggie, most likely. Maybe Carl?

She looked up for Arron and found herself staring at his back. In all her revelations, Beth had fallen behind him a little. Now, she picked up her pace and moved back into stride beside him.

"So how do you know who I am? Who talks about me?"

Aaron glanced at her with a bit of surprise.

"Well it wasn't hard to figure out, normal people wouldn't have been so open to leading someone back to their home without even trying to cover their eyes or something and nor would that person open up about such private details of their lives when dealing with complete strangers. Unless they are not a complete stranger to that person. So, who talks about me?"

Aaron, smiled, impressed by her powers of deduction despite their delay. He nodded slowly, "Your sister, Maggie, she's mentioned you a few times. But, mostly I know of you through Daryl."

He watched her eyes grow wide and had to bite back a chuckle, "Well, not in the verbal sense, being that he doesn't really talk much at all. But he has told me enough and he has his telling signs." His face fell somewhat, "And I know, or I guess I should say I feel, that losing you; it hurt him deeply."

Beth felt her chest and her throat tightening up at his words, he must have noticed, because he slowly lowered his hand on her shoulder and gave a warm reassuring squeeze. He was about to pull back, but Beth's hand snuck up and covered his, taking the moment he was offering for all its worth. She let the shudder of emotions roll through her, clenching her jaw and eyes to keep them from letting the tears loose that were threatening to spill out of her. She took a deep breath and squeezed Aaron's hand back by way of communicating her appreciation.

"C'mon," he said softly, "We're almost there. Just a few more blocks."

Beth nodded, thankful for so much she felt like she needed to prepare a turkey for dinner. She wiped her hands on her jeans as she picked back up with their pace, her palms feeling clammy with nerves. She knows that it truly is ridiculous at this point to have any qualms over the upcoming reunions she'll share with her loved ones, she knows in her heart of hearts that everything is going to be fine and that they will eagerly pull her to their chests and kiss her and hold her tightly. Things are going to get scary soon, real soon, but she's home. Really home this time, and everything will be fine.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 8

"I used to record these little interviews." The short woman said with a bit of remorse tinging her words, "I learned it doesn't really make a difference." She moved through the living room stiffly, like she no longer could find a way to fit herself into her own home. Beth could understand that feeling. The woman, Deanna, lowered herself onto the couch and closed her hands in her lap.

"I understand that you were a member, I apologize, you **are** a member, of Rick's group. Maggie's younger sister, correct?"

Beth nodded mutely. She didn't like that Aaron told her she would have to go through this 'interview' process before she could see her family. But he had promised to get all of them together for her, so she could surprise them. It helped, but knowing all the questions this woman was gearing up to throw at her, well it left her a wrecked ball of nerves and possible anxiety attacks that she was not willing to slip in to. But she stayed seated and patiently waited for Deanna to get warmed up.

"I want you to tell me everything, everything that you have been through, everything you have had to do. Everything that haunts you."

Beth swallowed, her eyes steadily falling to the floor. She knew where to start, but she also knew once she did start, there would be no stopping. She would become a derailed freight train. And it would be exactly what this woman wants to see, Beth could feel it in the scrutiny of the woman's eyes, on some small level Deanna just wanted to know she wasn't the only fucked up person wandering around now. This interview thing may have started out as something different, something pure, but those things always get tainted and stained. She knew that every time she faced her reflection. Beth sighed heavily and brought her eyes back up to the woman before her, and suddenly Beth saw it, the ghosts that haunt Deanna. She saw them in her eyes, the wrinkles surrounding them, and the tight line her mouth had become. Beth nodded slowly.

"My sister and I grew up on our Daddy's farm with my momma and our brother Shawn. Daddy was in denial, he thought there would be a cure. So when it all began, we collected our loved ones; our friends, neighbors, teachers, and even complete strangers. We rounded them up like cattle and kept them in the barn. Momma and Shawn too. Well there wasn't a cure, never will be. One day, after Rick's group had settled onto our land, Shane, someone who had lost themselves like the rest of us somewhere along the way, he opened up that barn. The ones with guns, they didn't have a choice, even with my family falling to pieces and begging them not to, they shot every walker that stumbled out." Beth lowered her eyes and pushed the emotions back down, sewing them into place in her heart and begging them to stay put. She chewed on her lip and tried to move around the lump in her throat, deciding to omit the part about her catatonic state.

"And then the Farm fell. We lost people. But we moved on, Rick leading the way. They were dark days for him, but he was dealing with ghosts, I get it now."

Beth paused at her own choice of words and almost laughed, _yeah,_ she said to herself in mock mirth, _I get it now. I get it all, now._

"Anyways, we found the prison. Cleared it out, built it up. Defended it, protected it, nearly lost everything over it. Daddy." Her throat tightened and the emotions in her heart exploded. She shook her head and cleared her throat, "He d-died there. A man, he wanted the prison. We wouldn't give it up, so he decided no one could have it and destroyed everything we had worked for there."

Beth wiped her hand down her face and leaned forward in her chair, resting her elbows on her knees. She lost herself in those dark and tormenting memories for a moment, reliving the sight of that brilliant blade sliding through his neck like butter. Beth flinched when Deanna softly called her name. She tried to shake some of the tension from her shoulders, closing her eyes and trying to find the will power to keep talking.

"After the prison, I was with Daryl. He taught me stuff, like how to track and lay traps, how to skin and cook my kill, how to move in the woods and not be seen or heard. He kept me alive and he didn't know it but he taught me how to keep myself alive in more ways than just basic survival. For weeks and weeks it was just the two of us, day and night. He taught me constellations and how to figure out where I was and where I wanted to go by mapping the stars. He showed me how to hotwire a car and taught me how to drive," she couldn't help it, a grin erupted over her softening features as she repeated words he had once said to her, "Gotta learn ta drive stick first, not gonna be a pussy 'bout which ride you can lift." She smiled down to the floor and bit her lip.

"Daryl means a lot to you, doesn't he?" Deanna asked, pulling Beth from her little spot of mental sunshine. Beth shrugged nonchalantly, and murmured something under her breath that Deanna didn't catch, but the older woman still smiled with her wisdom.

"My whole family means everything to me. They are all I have left, and I'm sorry, but I have crawled through Hell to get here. This interview be damned if you think you have the power to keep me from them, I'll play nice and I'll answer your questions, but after that, after this; You take me to my people."

Deanna's smile widened, but she didn't say anything. She just took Beth in, all of her. Injured, jagged short haircut, covered in dirt and blood, littered in scars. Fierce blue eyes that dared Deanna or anyone else to cross her. Deanna found herself more and more impressed the longer she spent time with the young blonde named Beth.

"I promise," Deanna said gently, "I will personally take you to them if you like. Please, continue."

Beth forced herself to soften her expression and went back to fiddling with the seam of her chair, figuring out where to pick back up.

"We had stopped at a funeral home, we had been there a couple of nights or so. Then the walkers got in and everything turned chaotic. I had hurt my ankle so Daryl just yelled for me to get out. To meet him by the road. Honestly not too sure what happened next. I made it to the road and turned to watch for Daryl, then the next thing I know, I'm waking up in Grady Memorial Hospital in Atlanta. There were cops and some hospital staff, they 'rescued' people, but really the cops just took whoever looked weak enough to not put up a good fight, forced them to stay by telling them they had to work to make up for whatever supplies was used on them. The woman that ran the place, Dawn. She… I don't know what to say about Dawn. Noah was her ward, I got close to him and we made plans to break free and get out. And we did, but they caught me. He must have found my family though, because a few weeks later my family and Noah were standing at one end of a hallway and we were on the other and they were trading Carol and I for the cops they had caught. But Dawn," Beth snorted dryly, a shadow creeping over her on the inside that made her tremble. She clenched her jaw and her fists, "Dawn just couldn't let go, said she wanted Noah. I tried to stab her, didn't work so well. She shot me. Not sure who shot her,"

"Daryl." Deanna filled in easily.

Beth looked to her quickly and raised her eyebrows, "How would you know?"

"Noah." Deanna said even softer, her own eyes falling in sorrow, she picked them up quickly though and looked back to Beth, "And then the others put you in the back of a car and ran, because there was a herd of walkers coming down on them," Deanna continued smoothly, redirecting Beth away from the 'Noah' topic.

Beth nodded slowly, "Yes. That's what I've been told at least."

"So then tell me, Beth Greene, how is it that you are alive?"

"There was a doctor at the hospital, he felt inclined to rescue my remains and deal with them the way my family would have preferred. He discovered I still had a heart beat and, well all he told me really was that he did whatever it took to keep me alive. He did tell me he had to do a couple of surgeries, something along the lines of bringing down brain swelling and some reconstruction? I don't really know, I was in a coma for a few weeks and that whole time period is a little fuzzy for me."

Deanna nodded in understanding and encouraged Beth to continue, showing genuine interest and investment in both Beth and her story. She shifted in her seat as if she knew that everything was about to get interesting, but to be fair, she had gotten her warning about the wolves before she had insisted on doing this first. So she probably knew that Beth was getting closer to that point of the story.

Beth sighed and rubbed at her eyes briefly, preparing her for the second wave of emotions she was about to assault herself with by going into such fresh territory for her. She briefly debated whether or not she wanted to tell Deanna about her cutting herself. Could she understand about something like that? Or would she turn out to judge Beth as something wild and dangerous and unpredictable, someone that could bring harm to Deanna's people or even Beth's people too? Beth decided to keep that part to herself, just like everyone seemed to be doing in regards to Noah. Need to know basis only, she'll worry about the rest later.

"After I left the hospital, I went to Richmond. I figured that would be were my group was headed, the others at the hospital had told me that Noah left with my family, and I knew he had his own family in Richmond. So I knew he at the least would be there. But there was nothing there. And that hurt. I didn't know what to do, I just sat there and stared at my map and tried to guess which direction my people _might_ have gone in if they had even gone to Richmond to begin with. I started heading this way, and then they found me."

"The wolves? These men that you say are planning to attack us?" Deanna asked simply to clarify and be sure she was correctly following Beth. She nodded in response to Deanna and she waited in turn for Beth to keep talking.

"They sort of ambushed me in my little camp. They knocked me out and I didn't wake up until the following morning. I don't know where exactly they had taken me, but I could hear them talking about this safe zone and someone they only referred to as 'him' wanting to attack and kill everyone here. For whatever reason, the guys that took me felt convinced that this leader figure wants to kill off everyone here one by one, that he enjoys it as sport." Beth stated hotly.

"These guys are insane, Deanna," Beth worried her hands in her lap now, quickly growing more anxious, "They have no humanity left in them, they think they're animals; they think they are wolves but this group might as well be a herd of thoughtful walkers themselves because that is the only difference between the two groups; these guys have full brain capacity."

Deanna nodded slowly, never moving her gaze from Beth as she seemed to consider everything Beth had told her, she blank slowly and finally gave a small sigh, "How did you get away from the two that captured you, Beth?"

Beth sat up straighter, pulling her palms flatly up her lap. She closed her eyes, clamping her jaw tight to hide the tremble that threatened to take over her completely. She was afraid of this part, of revisiting her brutal murder she had committed less than twenty-four hours prior. Of watching the blood fall down over her like rain yet again. Afraid of opening her eyes to see her ghosts sitting in the room with her and Deanna. Because she could feel them, Beth could feel her ghosts watching her every move just as much as she could feel Deanna watching her every move too. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes, trying tightly to keep her eyes locked on Deanna's instead of taking in the knowing eyes of the ghosts that sat on either side of her, watching Beth like she could be their savior.

"I killed them."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 9

Deanna let Beth clean herself up a bit in the hall bathroom, and now she is staring at the clearest reflection she has seen of herself in what felt like months. Her face is coated in mud and blood, both had dried and started to flake off. She ran her hands under the warm water, and lowered her eyes to her hair, following the ruff edges of her new bobbed style, liking the way it fell and framed her face. She brought her face down to the sink and lathered her hands up with the soap, rubbing the pads of her fingers into her cheeks and spreading up, around her eyes, and across her forehead. She rinsed and re-lathered, and rinsed and re-lathered one more time. This time, when Beth found herself in the mirror, she was starting to recognize what she saw. Beth changed clothes in to a pair of cotton stretch pants she had lifted from the store and another random tee-shirt. She put her boots back on and zipped up her jacket, deciding it was best to hide her self-inflicted injuries for a bit longer. And then she stood up straight and drew in a deep breath. A knock rounded out in the small space she stood in and she could hear Aaron's voice calling to her from the other side. It was time, she couldn't delay it any longer. So Beth swallowed around the lump that had grown in her throat and opened the door to see Aaron patiently waiting.

"You clean up well without showering." He said with a rueful smile.

"I'm not really sure how to take that," she grinned in return and felt her tension ease even more when he chuckled. She pushed her hair behind her ear nervously while grabbing her bag, biting on her lip.

"What's wrong?"

"They think I'm dead. So what if they don't...believe I'm me?"

Aaron's face softened into a much sweeter and sympathetic smile, he reached out and tugged on Beth's hand, "I never even met you, Beth. I have never known you, but I knew you were you, once you told me your name. What little I had known about you? Helped it all to click into place. So no more doubts, Beth. These people are your people, and they could never not know that you are you." He continued to smile, but slowly his face scrunched up a bit, "if that makes any sense..."

Beth snorted and smiled big and wide for him, "It's a little confusing, but I get the gist."

Aaron nodded and gestured for Beth to follow him out of Deanna's house. She closed the door behind her and trotted down the steps after him. They found their comfortable pace again as they walked through the neighborhood. He took a few turns and Beth tried to make a mental map of Alexandria, but she told herself it was going to take some time. She would need to walk the grounds and perimeter several times before it would all fall into a mental 3D map in her head. She was looking in almost every direction, trying to see everything all at once, that she hadn't noticed when Aaron had come to a stop in front of a large blue house. He called out to her to grab her attention and she snapped back around, flustered and frazzled from trying to soak in so many details at once. She walked back to him and slowly took to the steps behind him, her feet feeling heavier and heavier with each step forward she took. Aaron opened the front door and walked in, staring into a room full of people that she couldn't see yet. He turned back to face her, offering her a warm smile and holding out his hand for her to take. She took a deep breath, exhaled slowly, and crossed the threshold to take his hand.

Beth let the door close and let Aaron take her into the room.

Everything fell so silent it terrified her. No one moved. No one was even blinking. No one gasped or cried or laughed. She glanced around at each pair of eyes, her chest rising and falling rapidly, _are they even breathing?_

And then it happened. It sounded like a hiccup at first, or maybe like she had started to speak but her voice wasn't working; but then Maggie let out a second little hiccuping sob before she exploded from the couch she was sitting on, tears streaming down her face in large rivulets, and Maggie snatched her baby sister into her arms with a ferocity unmatched by any other. Maggie's chest felt like it was collapsing against Beth, each time Maggie struggled to bring air into her lungs her entire body would quake against Beth, trembling in her hands as she gripped her tighter. Maggie had lost it completely, Beth realized she had never seen Maggie so emotional, it was making Beth's anxiety soike. But after everything, Beth couldn't blame her. She began to try to coax her sister despite her own pulsing vision, "Shhh Maggie, it's okay, I know. I know, Maggie, I know, it's okay. I'm here. I'm really here."

Eventually, a teary eyed Glenn approached the sisters, eyes glued to Beth's as he stepped in to embrace the pair. He kissed both on the tops of their heads and held both tightly for a spell. Then he pulled back, and ever so gently, pried Maggie from a very tense Beth so they could both breathe and calm themselves down. Beth mouthed a 'thank you' to Glenn and adjusted herself and her clothing until a second body attached itself to her, Beth resisted the urge to strike out and turned her head just enough to see the brim of Carl's hat and she felt her heart drop. She smiled and caved slightly into the hug, returning it as tightly as she could with one arm. He pulled back and Beth found herself looking up at him, she gave a small gasp, "You're taller than me!" He laughed and stepped back. Rick was holding Judith, who was currently fighting him and reaching for Beth. He walked forward and pulled her into a group hug with the baby, who Beth couldn't help but to pepper in sweet kisses as tears were now steadily and quietly rolling from her eyes but still she would not take Judy from him. Rick didn't say anything, he just gave her shoulder a squeeze and sat back down with Judith, for now. There were still plenty more people to go.

Michone gave Beth a sweet side hug, telling her how happy she was to have her back. Sasha swallowed thickly, unshed tears in her eyes that Beth could tell were not for her. Sasha took Beth's hand and squeezed it, "'S'good to have you back." She didn't have to tell Beth, she didn't have to say anything, Beth could see the ghosts haunting Sasha in her eyes, too. Just like with Deanna. Beth returned the gentle tightening of her hand and swiped her thumb softly there a few times before Sasha pulled away and excused herself out the front door.

Beth watched her go somewhat longingly, the continuous touching was starting to wear her down, and she realized a little too lately that she would have to tell them all something about what had happened to her during their separation. But she wasn't sure she wanted them to know everything. She didn't think she was ready for the rest of her family to see who she really had become, because in all honesty, they never truly saw her for who she had been. Daryl had though. Daryl saw and knew everything there was to know about Beth Greene, because everything there was to know about her was incredibly simple. She felt the familiar ache she had grown accustomed to since his absence grow a little more as she started scanning the room for him.

A preacher man had approached her and started telling Beth what a miracle she was, and that maybe they should make her a saint. "Saint Beth Greene," he laughed, clasping her hands in his worship grip, "Wouldn't that be something." She tried to tug her hands free, growing a little panicked as she realized there were still more strangers eyeing her. She felt like she was being spun around the room in a twisted version of Russian Roulette. As a very tall redheaded man had even clapped her on the back in a hug that had her jumping back from him, dubbing her Resurrection the 'coolest shit' he'd ever heard, Beth was growing a little concerned at the lack of a pair of stinging blue eyes in the room.

"I'm Rosita. I, uh, I'm glad you're not dead." One woman said to her, Beth's heart pounding painfully in her chest. Carol stepped up, smiling at Beth with warm happy tears in her eyes, she shook her head slightly as she took Beth into her arms, "Look at you, you've changed so much! Oh, Beth, your father would be so proud of you. And Noah and so would Daryl!"

The floor dropped out from beneath Beth and she stepped back quickly, breaking out of Carol's arms. Panic punched her in the gut, her stomach ready to hurl as she looked around the room anxiously yet again. But she couldn't find him, she couldn't feel his eyes on her, watching her. He's not in the room and Beth is starting to slip again, she turns back to Carol, "Where is Daryl? Is he dead? Where is he?" She moves away from her and moves towards Aaron, then turns towards Maggie, "Where is he? What happened to him?" everyone looking at her with such confusion it only infuriated her more, her mind reeling with possibilities.

"It's fine, he's fine, he just hasn't gotten back yet," Rick stepped up, passing Judy to her brother as he slowly and calmly approached Beth like she were a frantic wounded animal, but to be honest, she kind of felt like one.

"What do you mean he's not back yet? Where did he go? Why?" She was starting to back up more, her chest heaving greatly as her head spun. She was starting to feel dizzy, like everything was falling off to one side. Like gravity had suddenly shifted and wasn't pulling everything towards the center of the planet anymore. She tried to push down on her panic, but everything in her felt alarmed and on edge. He was supposed to be here when she got back, he was supposed to stare at her in denial and then slip out the front door and wait on the porch for her to come outside and sit with him and finally say everything, all the things neither one of them could say before. But he isn't in the room and she can't help it anymore, she's there and he's not and now she is staring down the barrel of loaded massive panic attack and her family was only making it worse. They were all tensing up and moving into defensive positions, eyes following her around the room as if she were dangerous to them.

And then Beth saw her ghosts; she saw Dawn sitting next to Carol, smirking malevolently and whispering things to Beth, whispering how weak she was to fall apart now, to have come so far and just lose it because her boy toy wasn't home. She saw the wolf next to Carl and Judith, and he just grinned at her while he played with Judith, using his hand as a puppet to mimic chewing on her little chubby arm. And then she saw her Daddy, seated next to Maggie with his hand on her shoulder lovingly, smiling at Beth. Rick reached out and put both of his hands on her shoulders and tried to push her down into a seat, and Beth lost it completely, instantly seeing Gorman and smelling his sickly sweet breath as he shoved a lollipop in her mouth, feeling his hands glide up her skin. Beth almost blacked out, almost let herself fall back into the chair, but she couldn't, because giving into the darkness pulling at her would be to fall into that pit. And to let everyone here see her as weak again like she had been at the farm or the prison? No. So Beth swung her arms up and knocked his grip from her shoulders with a snarl. She turned and b-lined it for the door, she was going to go find Daryl. But Rick snatched her by her arms and pulled them behind her back, she struggled against him, pointedly ignoring whatever words he was trying to use to calm her down with, because what Rick failed to realize was that it was his physical approach to the situation that had been what really set her off. She leaned forward as far as she could before snapping back, the back of her skull colliding with Rick's face. He coughed and sputtered blood, releasing his hold on the tiny blonde.

"Let me make one thing perfectly clear," Beth growled out trying to ignore the wolves howling, turning on her heal to face everyone in the room with their big wide eyes on her, "If I want to leave, you will not stop me."

"What the hell happened to you out there, Beth?" Michone asked, her brows creased as she stepped forward towards Rick, "This isn't like the Beth I knew at the prison at all."

"Because the Beth you knew died that day with her Daddy."

Beth turned and left the house, her chest aching so badly she wanted to scream and bring every single walker down on this town and let them paint it red. She wanted the persistent headache to go away and for her ghosts to move on to the next life. Beth just wanted to feel normal again, to be able to go back into that house and have the heartwarming reunion with each of them that she so desperately wanted. But deep in her chest Beth knew, she only wanted one thing. To find Daryl. To feel as close to normal again as she could. And she would only be able to with him. In all her worrying about how everyone else would react to her, Beth hadn't once considered how she might react to them. She hadn't considered that it would be too much for her or that she would panic and freak out. The further she aimlessly walked through Alexandria, the worse Beth felt. She pushed everyone away from her and then ran away from them too because they were still just too close, still too suffocating. Still too blind to see her.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 10

Beth realized she was lost long after Alexandria settled for the night. She had walked up to two different blue houses that looked like the one her family had been set up in, just to find out they were not her would be home.

So she kept walking, thinking, and trying to ignore the ghosts that followed her and bickered loudly. She gave up responding to them hours ago, afraid she might wake people up and just spiral further down into the madness she felt pulling at her. She tried to hum to herself for a little while, hoping it might soothe her, but it only creeped her out in the ghost town she wandered through. She felt like she might have been developing a sense of the walled in community, but she just couldn't be sure in the dark.

At some point Beth found a bench and sat on it, arms folded in tight to her chest, she tilted her head back and examined the stars in their glittering brilliance. She watched Dawn's ghost sit beside her and tried to ignore the wolves as they pranced around and acted more like baboons than even dogs. Dawn looked to her with such a look of boredom it might have entertained Beth if Dawn had been anyone else.

" _Whats your deal, Beth? You couldn't wait to get back together with your family. Now you are out here, walking around with_ _ **us**_ _for company. Almost willingly, too"_

'What's your point, Dawn…"

" _You keep denying how weak you are, but you aren't putting up much of a fight to make this work._ "

Beth sighed, genuinely too tired to argue with Dawn or herself or God or The Devil or whoever it really was sitting beside her on the bench. She moved her eyes down the path and watched a figure move through the shadows, even her ghosts moving to pay attention to the movement. She watched as the figure grew larger in its approach, noticed his gait, definitely a 'he', no woman could carry herself that way comfortably. Something about it felt familiar and she began to hope it was Rick or Aaron, finally finding her to bring her back to the house. She watched the figure turn closer still and saw the smoldering ember-red end of a cigarette light up.

Beth's hands clenched, her throat tightened and she strained herself to see clearer in the dark. He was just about to walk pass her completely when she saw it, angel wings.

"Daryl!"

He stopped, every muscle tensing along his arms and back, rooting him to the spot. He didn't turn towards her and as Beth walked closer, she could see he was trembling. She slowly reached out and touched his elbow, a low moan of pain falling from her lips when he flinched and turned to face her almost violently. His eyes were barely slits in the moonlight, but Beth could see them, could see all of him, and he looked so very haunted.

"Daryl," she whispered so softly, but it still seemed to hurt him. She swallowed and stepped a tiny bit closer, "Please, it's me. It's really me, Daryl, I'm alive."

"You said that once before, I ain't forget about it." He grumbled roughly. He stepped back from her again.

Beth realized with another gut wrenching twist of pain that he thought she was a ghost, he thought she was his ghost. Her heart clenched painfully in her chest, her worst fears realized before she even knew it was her real life nightmare. She implored him with her eyes, begged him to see that she is real. She could only think of one thing to do, one incredibly risky but sure fire way for her to prove to him that she is no ghost. So Beth bum-rushed him and crashed her lips onto his, she clutched to his vest with both fists and pulled him tightly against her, pressing all of herself back against him. She could feel his body form rigidly against hers, feel his trembles through his lips, and she could feel his denial turn to desperation as he slowly brought his hands up to cup her face. They slid into her hair and then down her neck, thumbs brushing over her collar bones as his hands rounded her shoulders and then slid down to wrap fully around her midsection. Their faces pulled apart barely an inch, both fiercely drawing air into their lungs.

He had to ask, he had to know without any doubts that she was his Beth, his one and only Beth, "Who changed my mind?"

She released a breathy 'oh' and almost laughed at the situation, how he had so smoothly taken them right back to that funeral home, right back to that perfect moment before it had all gone so suddenly wrong. Beth steadied her gaze on Daryl and smiled, no insecurities lining her words, "I did, Daryl Dixon. I changed your mind."

A whimper fell from him, his face turning and burying into the crook of her neck. He sobbed against her, deep earth-shattering sobs that Beth could feel echoing deep inside the fissure in her soul. She held him, releasing her own steady stream of silent tears.

Eventually Beth managed to coax Daryl back to her bench, sitting as close together as possible. Beth fit herself perfectly against him and under his arm, which he kept tightly around her, making sure she was still with him. They couldn't do much more than that for a while, the emotions still too strong for them to coherently form sentences let alone ask the questions that needed answered.

As dawn slowly approached, bleaching the sky a warm pink to their left, Daryl had begun playing with her hair, murmuring against her ear that he liked it. She blushed and turned into him a little more, admitting she liked it too.

"Wha' made ya decide to cut it?"

"I didn't exactly, I had an…altercation. He grabbed my ponytail, so I cut it to get away and steal back the upper hand." Beth shrugged softly, but Daryl didn't miss the stiffness that spread from the space between her shoulder blades, nor did he miss the shadow that passed over her.

"Hey," he started softly, not continuing to speak until she lifted her haunted gaze to his, "You are the most beautiful an' strong willed woman I have ever met. You ain't just a survivor, Beth Greene. Yer a fighter, an' ya always have been."

His brows furrowed when she began crying, her bottom lip trembling. She started to pull out of his embrace, bringing her knees up to her chest. He caught her arm and tugged at her to prevent her from closing him off, but Beth cried out in physical pain that tore through his heart. She tucked that particular arm closer to her chest and refused to look at him now, his stomach dropping. Beth was injured, and worse off, she was trying to hide it. Daryl slowly reached out and closed his fingers over the wrist of the limb she treated so tenderly. He felt her shudder, watched her chest rise and fall dramatically, and felt her deflate and relinquish her tension as he drew her arm out towards him. He pushed her sleeve up, and slowly pulled the bandage covering her arm away.

The air in his lungs rushed from him hastily, his head spinning at what he saw. His thumb burned against the healed skin of the scar on her wrist, but his eyes burned the fresh cuts so much more. She tried to regain control, tried not to listen to the ghosts that were screaming things to her now. She continued to shake like a leaf while he continued to scrutinize her flesh. She bit her lip and closed her eyes, ignoring the wolves growling and ignored Dawn's monologue and her Fathers preaching, it took her far too long to realize she was speaking, "…I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm not strong. I'm weak, I'm so weak, she was right, always right, she saw me. Saw the pathetic girl, the useless pile of girl. So weak, shoulda died, Daryl. That Bullet Should Have Killed Me. Why am I still here? I ain't strong Daryl, and I ain't no damn miracle or blessin'. I'm weak!" Beth rocked back and forth despite the confining grip Daryl held her in, they both curled over their laps, Beth falling apart at her hinges and Daryl grasping at straws to try and keep her together.

As the sun broke over the horizon and drenched them in its warmth, Beth sniffed through the aftermath of her break-down. Slumped against his side as he slowly moved his hand up and down her arm in a soothing manor, both working to accept where they found themselves. Beth had managed to tell Daryl her story, she told him how Edwards had kept her alive, how she had rushed to Richmond as soon as she had gotten out of the hospital. She told Daryl about the ghosts, about Dawn and her daddy, and about the wolves ghosts after she filled in the parts when she had killed them. How the wolf had told her she was just like him, a wolf, and that she didn't think he was wrong anymore. She told him about her nightmares and panic attacks and how she had started cutting herself that first time on her own. She told him she was never aware of actually doing it, would just come out of the fog of another panic attack and discover herself to be a bloody mess each time.

Beth told Daryl who she had really become, the weak creature she had let herself turn in to. She told him she didn't deserve her second chance at life or the second chance to be with her family again, especially after what she had done to them the night before. Beth showed him just how damaged she was now, and that while she had changed his mind so long ago; she wasn't so sure she was right anymore.

And Daryl let her say it all; he sat quietly beside her, comforting her as best he could. He tried very hard not to let her see his clenched jaw or fists, he tried to hide his boiling anger with each heartbreaking sentence she spoke, but he still let her speak and get it all out. Because he knew exactly where she was, what her mindset was. That dark place she had let her insides become. The same place had become his home in his own mind in her absence, and he knew that if she didn't say it all, get it all out of her head, than it wouldn't matter what he would say to her, she would still only hear her words and in her ghosts voices. So he listened patiently even if painfully, and stayed silent even longer to figure out how to say what he wanted so badly to say to her.

He looks down at her now, at the sunlight turning her cheeks pink, and the plumpness to her swollen lips from the abuse endured by her teeth. He watched the sun light up the golden flecks in her hair and watched the colors in those flecks explode like miniature rainbows. He watched her lift her tired blue eyes up to his, burning in their brightness compared to the red rim around them.

"Yer a blonde, all righ', Greene."

Beth narrowed her eyes at him, confusion clouding her face. She opened her mouth to retort but he silenced her with a chaste kiss. She eyed him suspiciously as he sat back again, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

"What the hell does that mean, Daryl?"

"D'ya have any idea how much losin' you affected the entire group? How much ya did for the entire group?

"Beth, you raised a baby that ya never even mothered. An' you did it wit' a dance in your step an' a song in your heart, a song that ya shared with all of us, I'll remind ya. You became the sun fer us and whether ya noticed it or not, we all orbited around you."

Beth's face pinched even more in her growing frustration, "How were you orbiting around me? I could see Judith, but me?"

"Because every time we sat down in our council meetin's, every time we made a decision that would affect the group; you became the unspoken main priority, 'cause you represent everythin' we are still workin' to protect an' nourish. Maternal instincts, wisdom, kindness, generosity, empathy, strength, an' leadership. Not ta mention the only Pure Heart known this side of the Mississippi river. Don't you get it, Beth? You are the future for us, the one that will lead us back to humanity an' civilization. You are how we survive this world, Beth."

Beth snorted darkly, "Pure Hearts don't murder people."

"Yeah yer righ', they don' murder. But they will do what is necessary to keep their loved ones safe. An' for the record, I killed Dawn, not you. Edwards killed the other doctor, not you. And Dawn killed that other cop, not you. Gorman was eaten by a walker, not eaten by you. But the two men you did kill? Those men, they woulda hurt ya, Beth. They woulda hurt you far worse than death, an' then they woulda come here and they would find us an' they'd kill us. But you did what you had to, an' now you're here. An' when those other guys get here? We will be ready. 'Cause'a you, Beth Greene."

She has tears brimming in her eyes again, her heart aching so pointedly in her chest she could have been told she had been shot there, too, and she would believe it, she choked on his name, pressing her lips to his sweetly, telling him she might need him to remind her from time to time.

"Every. Damn. Day." He whispered back to her, nuzzling the space behind her ear.

"Now that you called me a blonde, I guess this is a bad time to confess that I'm out here because I lost the house…"

Beth swam in the sweet relief the barking sound of his laughter sent coursing through her, feeling that deep dark place inside her start to shrink a little bit.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 11

Beth stared up at the blue house, her stomach rolling, her guilt eating her alive like the undead just beyond the walls. She caught her lip between her teeth, a thin layer of sweat forming over her skin. Daryl reached out and took her hand firmly, his thumb slowly sliding over the back of her hand, "'S okay, Beth. They won' be mad."

She looked at him, not completely convinced, but he made no move to let go of her hand as he stepped forward, more or less dragging Beth along with him. He moved in precise and calculated steps, giving Beth as much time as possible to prepare herself and calm her nerves. She tried to tell herself that they were probably laughing it off, that maybe they thought it was funny in some way? But there was no humor in how last night had gone down, and she couldn't find any humor in the tense moment she walked into.

Her head spun a little, like déjà vu; her entire family and the strangers included all sat in the same layout they had been in last night, and they all fell just as silent, eyes burning into her. The only difference Beth found in the scene before her was the white bandage over Rick's puffy nose. She dropped her eyes with shame, eyebrows drawn together in her guilt.

"I am so sorry, Rick. I panicked, and I hurt you. I wasn't thinking clearly, please, know that I would never deliberat-"

"Beth, Beth, stop." Rick stood up, holding his hand up to politely silence her. She looked up at him, the color draining from her face, her heart dropping into that numb place. She started to turn, attempting to keep her head high and shoulders squared, "I'll get my things and I'll just get out of her-"

"Beth," Daryl started exasperatedly, tugging her by her hand back to face the room, "Shut the hell up."

Rick tried to cover a rueful grin as Beth settled back next to him, a blush burning up her neck and over her ears now. He gave up trying to hide it and let it turn into a full blown grin, "Beth Greene I am the one that needs to apologize," Rick said shaking his head at her, "We could see how tired you were last night, and we all seemed to have forgotten what it was like when we first got here. And we never gave you space or a chance to breathe. Aaron had a lengthy conversation with us after you left. He brought to our attention that we aren't very good at paying attention to you. So, we are all sorry. We hope you will forgive us."

Beth's eyes glittered with unshed tears, turning to each person in the room. They all looked at her sympathetically and Beth couldn't tell which was worse, receiving pity or fear from her family.

"Look," she started, feeling more confident now that she had her rock beside her, feeling like she can finally express to her family what she needs to, "I love all of you, you are my family, even you guys that I don't really know, and I will do anything to keep you safe and to fight my way back to you. But I'm dealing with things now, things I'm not always going to deal with in the most graceful way. I'm trying to get through this and I know I will, I just need time. And patience. And a little bit of space." She fidgeted a little with her hands, chewing on her lip she looked around to each person before she started speaking again, "But I am not weak." She looked at Daryl, she needed to see him fully to say the final part of her speech, "I have survived all on my own, I was captured, but here I am standing before you still able to smell their blood on my skin. I can hunt, skin, and cook my kill. And I can disappear completely in the woods. I am not just a babysitter, or just a pretty voice. I am a vital member of this family, of this community, and I will be treated like one." She looked again, pointedly into each pair of eyes before coming back to Daryl's. He smiled proudly at her, holding his hand back out for her to join him at his side. Everyone remained silent, eyeing the scarred blonde and the quiet hunter with mild shock and confusion. Carol opened her mouth but the scream they all heard was detached and came from somewhere outside the house.

The color drained from Beth yet again, she turned to Daryl and whispered coldly, "The wolves. They're here."

Daryl turned to everyone else as Beth lunged for her things in the foyer, "Buckle up, s'gonna get bumpy out there." He turned to Beth as she drew her crossbow up, loaded and ready, nodding to him. The rest of their family quietly donned their weapons, still watching the pair with somewhat odd expressions. Daryl opened the door and the two of them slipped so silently from the house that the others only knew the two had left if they happened to see it.

Daryl moved down the porch, aim held high, glancing in both directions. At the end of the street, a woman wailed for help as a man repeatedly swung his axe down into her body. Daryl shot the maniac through the skull as Beth trotted down the steps to clear the opposite direction; taking out a wolf running towards Daryl's turned back. They both moved without speaking, barely even looking at each other. They fell into their familiar routine easily, able to predict each other's movements and act accordingly. Beth turned between two houses, creeping along beside it with Daryl moving behind her. She came around to the front of the house, whipping back around to take out the she-wolf that had lunged for Daryl from the porch. Daryl's eyes focused on a point just beyond Beth's head and she instinctively ducked and spun, both taking aim and shooting at the group of wolves that moved around in the area just ahead of the duo. Rick, Maggie, and Glenn came running up from behind them, watching as the pair moved out further.

"Is anyone else starting to feel useless?" Glenn asked as they followed behind them and took in their skills.

Meggie clicked her tongue and Rick chuckled under his breath, eyes darting over the horizon smoothly. Beth's name rushed breathlessly from Maggie's lips when a pair of arms snatched her up from the bushes her and Daryl had crouched down behind. The wolf's arms clamped down over hers tightly, pinning them to her sides. Beth wiggled to get her knife free while Daryl was distracted by another wolf. Maggie, Rick, and Glenn were fighting their way closer, two other wolves taunting them ruthlessly. She finally got her knife free and slammed it down into his leg, ripping it from the muscle as soon as he released her. Beth spun around and brought her fist as hard as she could to the side of his head repeatedly until he fell backwards. She lunged forward and sent her blade into his eye, pulling it back up and trying not to gag at the spurt of blood and ooze that sprayed over her. She stood, panting, and turned to see everyone staring at her. She couldn't decipher their expressions, but it didn't matter, someone had started howling through a megaphone.

Beth felt a ripple move through her, instantly breaking into a run in the direction of the leader. She didn't want to look too deeply into how she knew it was him, but every fiber of her being hummed with electricity and she could feel the wolves in her head howling back. She couldn't tell if Daryl and the others were behind her or not, but she couldn't bring herself to look. She had a plan, and it was likely to get her killed. And if Beth looked at Daryl too long, he would figure it out and try to stop her, and he would get killed.

Beth pumped her legs harder and faster, now deliberately trying to shake her family in case they were on her tail. She came rushing out from between two houses and turned sharply, ducking down and waiting for her family to lose her. She could hear them, calling out for her and moving further away. Beth crawled along the ground to the body a few feet from her. She didn't know who the woman had been, but she prayed to God that he bless her and grant her peace as she began wiping the woman's blood onto her face and clothes, marking a 'w' on her forehead. Beth pulled the scarf from around the woman's neck and draped it over her head and face and pulled her hood up. She pushed her crossbow under the bush and stood, running back towards the howling and gathering wolf pack.

She turned into the designated town center and found the gathering wolves, all howling and still torturing the people of Alexandria. Beth scanned the pulsing crowd of animals, chest heaving as her vision began to blur on the edges. Her fingers felt tingly and numb when she found the man holding the megaphone. He stood in a gazebo, smiling cruelly at his surroundings. Beth ducked low and moved through the crowd swiftly, dodging blades and fists, her heart wrenching in her chest at the sight of all the dead bodies literally being stomped all over, her stomach churning when she realized not all of the bodies were dead.

She moved under the gazebo, crawling to the other side. She slowly looked over the floorboard at the leader and his body guards. Beth pulled out the gun she still had from Grady, aimed, pulled the trigger, and watched the guard to his left drop. Both men turned instantly and Beth pulled the trigger again, taking out the second guard. The leader turned to see her, a snarl vibrating through to her. She dropped the gun and jumped up, pulling herself up and over the railing. He lunged for Beth as she dropped low and rolled to the other side, she came back up with a bounce, fists raised in her defensive stance. They circled each other, eyes locked tightly. She lashed out with her knife, slicing his abdomen as his fingers closed over the scarf and he ripped it from her. Beth slid back from him and then pushed off the railing, using the momentum to slide along the floor pass him and run her blade against his thigh. He reached out and grabbed her by the back of her jacket, swinging her against a support beam as hard as he could and then sending her to the ground. Beth gritted her teeth against the impact and kept her grip tight on her knife. She rolled as he approached, slashing out with her blade again and catching his fingers. He howled as they bounced away from him, Beth hopping up onto her feet again. She vaguely registered the scene of her people fighting back against the wolves behind the leader, but then he was lunging for her again and she had to dodge him to the side. She brought her knife down into his back and dragged it down before pulling it from his back. He turned to face her, narrowing his eyes at her. She narrowed her eyes and tilted her head at him, lowering herself and moving at him yet again, but he dodged her and grabbed her by the back of her neck. He shoved her against the railing of the gazebo, using his body to pin her there and pushing on her neck to bend her over it.

Beth could feel his hardness against her, her breaths coming in shallow as she tried desperately to push Gorman's hands from her. She tried to shove back with all her strength and slip away from him, but he was too strong. He chuckled, tightening his grip to the point of bruising her neck. Beth could hear Daryl screaming her name over and over again, but she couldn't see him. The man holding her tightly said something she couldn't hear before he was dragging her into a new position on her knees in front of him facing away from him towards the battling crowd. The Wolf held Beth's face firmly, his fingers digging into her cheek bones, until she finally saw him. Daryl was fighting with his back to Rick and Glenn, all three trying to take on what remained of the wolf pack, Maggie unconscious at their feet.

Beth jerked and struggled against his grip as he growled into her ear, "I'm going to make you watch them die. All of them. And then I'm going to make you mine," he licked the side of her face and she turned to spit in his. He gripped her hair at the base of her scalp and jerked her to her feet and turning her to force her to face the fight unfolding before her. Beth watched the wolves taunt her family with fire in her eyes, lava churning in her soul. She could feel the wolves in her own head howling, but their tempo was changing, their howls morphing into something whimsical and musical in her mind. A surge of energy erupting from her spine the louder her inner howling grew. She slowly inched her feet into a new stance, her fingers gripping the handle of the knife hidden in her waist band.

Beth yanked forward with her head, pulling her hair precious few centimeters from his tight grip that she used to twist her hair in his hand, turning and slicing her knife deeply across his abdomen just beneath where his diaphragm sat. She felt his fingers twitch in her hair before his hand fell from the top of her head. He stared at her, blinking a few times before he dropped to his knees before her. She reached out and gripped his beard tightly in her fist, pulling his face closer to hers, feeling his hot sick breath wash slowly over her senses. She brought her knife up, pointing the tip at the bottom of the 'w' on his forehead, and pushed harder and harder until it slowly broke through the skull and slid like silk into the meat of his brain. His eyes fluttered darkly before rolling upwards, his body falling limp and his beard slipping from her grip. She watched his body crumble in on itself, her chest falling and rising rapidly. She reached down and pulled her knife from his head, wiping the blood off on his clothes. She turned to look out of the gazebo, the last wolf falling at Rick's hands, Glenn helping Maggie to her feet as they both gaped at Beth, mouths hanging from their hinges. And Daryl walked slowly towards her, eyes focused solely on hers as he moved through the bodies between them. Beth stepped down from the gazeebo, her knees wobbling slightly beneath her as she gripped the railing. She moved towards him and tried to keep her throat from tightening up, the edges of her vision pulsing and blurring again. She felt her chest getting tighter and was on the verge of passing out, and then she was in his arms, tucked against his chest. She couldn't tell if she had passed out or not, but she didn't care, because she finally made it home.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 12

Rick, Daryl, and Glenn had pulled the survivors together and set to work clearing the bodies. They agreed to toss the wolves over the walls and burry the Fallen Alexandrians. Slowly more people emerged from their homes and began helping. Enough people showed up that Rick turned to Daryl and mumbled to him that perhaps he should go check on Beth.

He slipped away and headed back towards the house, wiping the sweat from his face with a red slip of cloth. Beth hadn't woken up when he laid her out on the couch and cleaned her wounds earlier; her body had simply molded into the couch and stayed that way. Daryl crossed the threshold and moved towards the couch, taking in her peaceful face, and realized that by the looks of it she hadn't moved or murmured through her sleep, her body still heavy. He watched her for a while until Maggie showed up and tried to urge him to get some rest, settling into a chair next to him and across from Beth.

"Don' think I can handle bein' apart from her…" he admitted sheepishly. He felt bad suddenly. He didn't even know or understand the full extent of what exactly it was with him and Beth, and he could only imagine how it must look to everyone else, especially Maggie; but he just couldn't bring himself to care about how they felt on the matter, even though Maggie is Beth's sister, her approval or lack there-of meant nothing to him.

Just Beth. She was the only thing that mattered to him anymore. Had been since the day the prison fell and every day since, even after Grady. But now he's admitting to Maggie that he's scared and doesn't want to leave her side, fully expecting her to blow up on a whole new level on his stupid ass. But she didn't, she simply smiled softly and reached over and gave his hand a small squeeze.

"I know," she said simply, and they both just sat like that, hands gripped and waiting, praying that Beth will wake up soon.

The others had slowly started showing back up at the house, trickling in a few at a time, but still Daryl stayed by her side. He shifted and moved to have her head in his lap when space started becoming sparse, absent mindedly stroking his fingers through her short hair. They were all quietly talking about the attack, about their luck that Beth had been able to provide a warning. Glenn started spewing ideas, ways they could better prepare for an attack like this and it turned into a meeting when Rick sent someone to find Deanna and Aaron and a few other important members. Daryl lifted his fingers and continued to drag them through Beth's short hair as he watched the new council forming around him.

Suddenly Beth shifted in his lap, murmuring or purring her approval of his hands ministrations, Daryl couldn't quite be sure. She slowly opened her eyes and looked up at him, sleep still lingering in the depths of her iris'.

"Hey," he smiled down softly at her, her face scrunched up in a kittenish way as she stretched, mewling against the couch cushions and making the frame creak as she pushed her feet into it. She settled back into a curled in shape, side-eyeing him from his lap, "5 more minutes…"

He laughed warmly and tugged on her short locks, "Sounds like this spur the moment meetin' thing will be important. Ya might wanna wake up a bit for it."

She grumbled but still sat up, bringing her knees up in close to her chest, Beth tucked herself in as close to him as she could manage, unabashedly stealing his body heat. Daryl tossed his empty little plastic cup of water Maggie had gotten for him earlier at Glenn's head, who flinched and turned to look at the archer.

"The hell, dude?"

"Quit yer bitchin' an' hand me that blanket," Daryl grinned at the mockingly disgruntled young man.

Glenn sighed dramatically and got to his feet, lifting and unfolding the blanket as he approached the pair and raised the blanket up to settle primarily over Beth. Glenn couldn't help but smile at the view as Daryl tucked her in to his side. The two were certainly an odd couple, but he couldn't deny how well they fit and worked together. It seemed odd on the surface, but it was more and more natural the more he saw it. He sat back down with Maggie, who smiled sweetly and took his hand, she leaned in to whisper to him "Am I a bad sister for being okay with them bein' like that?"

"No," he answered simply, kissing her temple and wrapping her up in his arms, "He's kinda perfect for her." Maggie hummed her agreement and let her head rest against him.

More and more people began showing up, and the more people that Beth didn't know entered her space, the more rigid she grew next to Daryl. He rubbed his knuckles into her back, trying to keep the tension to a minimum, but she started flinching in pain so he switched to just rubbing with his open palm.

"The first thing I want to point out; is that if it were not for Rick and his people, none of us would be standing here. So, for those of you who still have reservations about these people? You owe them your life." Deanna stared at certain people pointedly, and Beth noticed those people shift awkwardly on their feet. They murmured words of appreciation and cleared their throats stiffly.

Deanna seemed entertained by this, but finally continued, "We need better defenses. On both sides of the wall, so what can we do?"

Deanna was not one to beat around the bush, she seemed to consistently be straight forward and get to the point every time. Beth found she greatly admired that about her, it was refreshing to see someone who didn't care about the bull shit or want to feed into it. Deanna wanted to cut through it and push it out the way, in fact.

People started chattering to those closest to them before standing and giving their opinions and thoughts or ideas. It seemed like everyone had something to say, even if it had already been said. Trenches, extra walls or fences, maybe even an electric fence. There were great ideas being tossed around, that old warm familiar feeling of hope bubbling up in Beth's belly again, bringing a big smile to her features.

Daryl poked her side, one eyebrow raised curiously at her. She giggled lightly and scooted up to whisper in his ear that it made her happy to see this again, to see people working together to survive, and more than just that, but thrive too. He hummed his agreement then turned back to the meeting, Rick calling his attention.

"Wha'dya think? Any input we haven't heard yet?"

Daryl scratched under his chin, "Think we could do with more look-outs. S'pretty big place, need eyes in every direction, really."

"I agree," Beth said, looking out to everyone else, "I think we need to barrel down on weapons training, and anyone that shows potential with the rifles should be trained by Sasha and whoever she thinks has enough skill to help her. We need snipers inside and outside the walls and a secure line of communication to and from both points, protocols for safety measures, and not just round the clock guards in towers but at least two people to walk the perimeter continuously." She trailed off at the end when she realized how much she was saying and that everyone had gone silent to listen to her, all eyes on Beth and it sent shivers through her spine. Daryl dipped his fingers into her hip reassuringly, but she still shrank herself back against him.

"It's really not a bad idea," Sasha spoke up, "I'm definitely willing to teach people, she's right, can never have too many snipers in a group."

"I'm not too shabby with a rifle, m'self, 'm sure I could help you," Abraham added, nodding towards Sasha. She nodded in agreement. "I can also round up the construction crew, get 'em working on some more towers at measured locations around the wall. Get the geeks workin' to figure out what's the best layout." Abraham finished, looking to Deanna, who Beth finally realized had not stopped staring at her. She shifted under Deanna's beaming gaze until the woman finally nodded and looked away from her. The meeting dwindled to an end as people decided on their next move and left to see it through. It wasn't long before Daryl and Beth had not only the room to themselves, but the whole house. She let her head fall back and looked up at him, a sly smile on her face.

"Daryl Dixon."

"Yes, ma'am?"

"I would like very much to take a shower now."

His face drew into a slow grin, his eyes sparkling with mirth, "Oh, would'ya now?"

"Yes." She said, lifting her head to give him her most serious face, and pouty lip, "Please?"

He chuckled darkly, briskly lifting her into his lap and standing from the couch, she squealed as he lifted her to his chest and turned to the stairs. He walked up slowly, his heart pounding in his chest, words he didn't know how to say dancing on his tongue.

"Beth, I…" he sighed, his eyes falling. But then her tiny hand moved up to cup his cheek and he brought his eyes back to hers and she was smiling so sweetly at him, "It's okay, Daryl. I know."

It was his turn to stare at her questioningly until he finally saw it in her eyes and he exhaled a small breathy 'oh'. Beth Greene loves Daryl Dixon and Daryl Dixon loves Beth Greene. That was all it had to be for the both of them. She didn't need him to stress over pretty words for her and he didn't need her to worry about not being equally understood. They fit together and this was natural, the only thing that felt natural since even before the world turned to hell. Daryl crashed his mouth over hers, heatedly claiming the bottom lip he watched her continuously trap between her teeth, and now he pinned it between his.


End file.
